A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some points of view! I suffer from spouts of jealousy...always have really...and I can't deal them very well...it's taken control of my life. For instance, if my husband and I are at the video store choosing a film, it has to be one with not too many pretty women in, or when we go out, my eye is on my husband the whole evening and I get annoyed if he leaves my side for more than 20 mins! also, I'd almost suffer from an anxiety attack (I become really hot and raging with fear, butterflies and I'm stuck and can't seem to move) if my husband was to comment on another woman's beauty (although he doesn't anymore.) He's always complimenting me and I get a lot of male attention...so I'm confident there...so why am I still this way...? even if I see the reason for me being jealous silly, I still go through the motions of a fearful child...so irrational! it's driving me crazy. It's almost like the child me and the adult me are always fighting.I've had therapy before for this problem...(my mum left my had cause she was having an affair when I was 8 yrs old..have worked through that etc...)but I just can't seem to overcome it and it's causing me problems and ruining me as a person. For years I've tried various strategies to overcoming it or rationalising it etc...It's a really scary feeling to feel...and even though the adult me sees it as irrational behaviour, my inner child doesn't and that's why I can't control it. Some suggestions would be appreciated! thank you...and am looking forward to hearing some ideas or suggestions or someone who has the same problem....anything would be such a help....: )
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Thanks for your piece of advice!
It's strange cause sometimes I feel as though I can deal with it and other times I can't....
My hubby knows I have trust issues and he helps being really attentive...
I'm going to start a journal which will be helpful and I'm going to rationalise my thoughts whenever they occur. It's never really been a huge problem in our marriage (which I'm pleased to say!) so I guess I just have to give myself lots of positive affirmations and be gentle and patient with myself...
Thanks for your help!
A
female
reader, Summer1951  +, writes (5 October 2009):
You and your husband need to sit down and talk about this problem together. It is a problem and you need help. Get advice from a councillor and if he is will get him to come with you. You need to sort yourself out as this problem will not go away. Your husband will be better informed and learn how to deal with the situation
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