A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:I can't stop having dreams about my ex. My ex and I dated for 4 months almost a year ago. And we didnt have the best relationship, because we were very different. He didn't like drinking or going out to dance, and I wanted to at times. Also, we had no sexual chemistry and argued abt it all the time. But the thing is, he was so attractive and sexy to me, that just being next to him made me feel good. He is a tall muscular man, and I'm a petite lady and being with him made me feel safe. Whereas, now with my current bf who is small and not muscular at all; i dnt feel 100% sexually attracted to him; even though our sex life is good. I know it makes no sense. He is very much alike as my ex in the sense that he too doesnt like going out; but he is much more affectionate and loving than my ex ever was. That is the main reason why I'm with my current bf bec he makes me feel special and he has always seen a future with me.What I don't understand and maybe you guys can help me out is why am I having these dreams about wanting to be with him and seeing him again. I have written to him and he has said hi and how are you, but he has never wanted to meet again. What can I do to forget entirely about him and move on with my current bf. I've been dating my current bf for 7 months now. Also, what I don't understand is that I've dated guys in the past for much longer and who were also very attractive as my ex and I don't dream abt them at all. So why is it this specific ex?Thanks
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move on, move on, my ex, petite, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2016): Stop writing to him and you'll stop feeding into your fixation. Concentrate on your boyfriend. Nurture your relationship; or stop wasting his time, and playing with his feelings. Time to grow up. You're no longer with your ex, and you're still manipulating him to keep his attention focused on you. That's cheating on your current boyfriend.
What do you need to feel safe from? Guys are neither here for your entertainment, nor to be your bodyguard. It happens if it's necessary; but only if it's necessary to protect you from harm or danger. Size and muscles don't have anything to do with real strength in character.
You're a little obsessed, and you idolize your ex for his looks. He was a prized possession. Now you have someone who prizes having you. Appreciate him, or fate will have it that he'll be taken away from you! Then you'll have two exes to fixate on. Imagine that!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 February 2016):
 These dreams could not be about your ex as a person, but it could be that you feel your current boyfriend is not right for you. You say he is good to you, makes you feel special. But he doesn't make you feel safe and you are not sexually attracted to him. I think you need to ask yourself is your boyfriend the right man for you? If you have doubts then it is better ending things now before the relationship goes deeper.
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