A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why am I attracted to the wrong type of man? I've been divorced for 5 years now with 3 kids and working full time in a great job. I'd been with my ex husband for 17 years until he decided the grass was greener on the other side! When we separated I was a complete wreck, never suspected a thing. Quickly picked myself up and got a really good job (after years at home bringing up the kids). He's settled now and bought a house with his g/f of 2 years. I've had many relationships which have all turned sour - two being long term which ended in disaster. Why am I attracted to such 'bad boys'? Starting to think that I am destined to be on my own for ever more.
View related questions:
divorce, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2007): Unresolved business from your childhood. When we dont' get all our needs met as a child, we tend to get caught up in re-inacting neglect,abuse, abandonment, trauma of childhood.
Often people mistake having two parents at home as being raised in a strong, loving, nurturing, attentive home but if one or both parents are not emotionally present-little to no affection, or one or both parents are hypercritical...the worse damage occurs when a parent tells their child repeatedly that they are nothing and can do nothing right which means they don't deserve love; are unloveable.
So with this, we begin to fulfill the prophecy of our parent(s).
Perhaps you experienced abandonment in that you were raised in a single parent home due to a death of other parent or divorce.
This all goes back to childhood and that even in your adult life; you were abandoned by your husband which would re-instate your worthiness of lack of someone's love.
So you set out to find these men who represent Ex husband and possibly Dad or Mom who abandoned you...to fulfill you are the unloveable one.
By the way...that is all horse crap.
You deserve to be loved and cherished and you do matter. You are an amazing individual and you are a Mother.
In my eyes, and others who value Motherhood...you are near Goddess status. And in your children's eyes...you remain a steady rock and you have become trustworthy and reliable as you are still Mom, still there for them. You're a Hero.
So, please get some individual counselling to help you sort out why you would seek out men who would abandon/reject you and deal with your past.
Get strong. Get Smart. Love yourself.
*hugs*
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Don't let that attitude get the better of you! It's true that there's a lot of nasty men out there but I've been led to believe there's an occasional good guy too. Maybe you could try looking in some different places for guys or develop a more discerning screening process so at least you don't waste too much time on the Mr Wrongs
CD
...............................
|
