A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am not a generous person for sure. In fact, I care about spending equal amount of $$$ when I am going out with frds or significant others. For example, I've been seeing this 30 years old grad student for a semester. I just realized we've been eating in our school cafe using MY meal plan most of the time (10+). He ate in local restaurant 4 times, I paid once and he paid 3 times. He has cooked for me at home 3 times and the ingredients were not expensive (3 eggs, ground beef, a pack of tofu, some green vegetables).Last weekend, it was raining and I told him I showered and I didn't want to walk in the rain. He said he could bring food for me but he couldn't use my card (for cafe). I ended up going out with him for dinner, I suggested something else other than school cafe, he said we should just have something casual since it was raining. Of course we went to our school cafe...and ate the food I had been eating through out my undergrad life.He spend the night at my dorm and in the morning, after we woke up, he said he was hungry so we went to the school cafeteria for brunch.Our dates are eating at school cafe or he cooks for me at home, followed by movies. He hasn't taken me out yet. Is this weird? He is not spoiling me either so I feel he is spending way little money and energy in our relationship. I don't really care about free dinner and stuff and I don't want to be used. Last time he wanted to eat at our cafe but the cafe was closing in 15 mins so I suggested eating at somewhere else and I paid for it.(I had fun but I was thinking"why do I have to pay. I'm paying for most of our meals in the cafe anyways")I believe maybe I haven't given him enough chance. What do people do when they are on dates? He likes deep movies and hates movie theaters. I suggested going to a local bridge but he told me he didn't like that place.Any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy am I dating this guy? Obviously I fell for him. I am definitely not using him as my sugar daddy yet I don't want to spoil him and become him sugar mommy. (Plus I hate dorm food!!! I've been eating the same stuff for years and to be honest I suffer when eating there)
I just feel both financially and emotionally I am investing more than this guy in this relationship. I need some change.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 What do people do when they are on dates?
Enjoy the others company, get lost looking in her eyes... oh okay staring at her tits. NOT worry about who is paying for what.
Sure, I can understand if it gets to extremes, but you don't mention any feelings for this guy. Not once.
Maybe he is thight, he is a 30yr old grad student. Shouldn't that give you a clue he is not exactly a financial success?
Unless there is some deep romance you forget to mention I think the question should be "Why am I even dating this guy".
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