A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Would like to know why I am a people victim and what I can do stop this from happening.I got bullied by my dad from the age of 3, he would call me names and get in my head. Then I had it all frew school, plus I had it at work and now I'm getting it were I live.I'm a very sensative and think it shows but all in all I would say I'm a nice person. I've tried diffrent appraches like showing I don't care and not being as nice to people but it still afects me on the inside. Plus it's not nice to live with feeling like I'm just waiteing for people to start picking on me and that they are takeing the piss to my face and don't think I notice. I feel so morbid now and I really do want to find new friends that won't stab me in the back and talk about me because I would love to open my heart and soul up to some people but I carn't trust anyone and feel like everyone is out to get me.Any help or advice would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, Eva_shaw +, writes (19 April 2010):
... it probably is because this is what you EXPECT. You expect people to stab you in the back and abuse you because you don't know better. And when you expect something you usually end up getting it. I would also dare go as far as to say that every time you are "proven right" you validate your own views that no one is trust worthy so it is kind of like you are each time getting a reward you can really do without. I would suggest, be kinder to yourself and don't be afraid of your good qualities. There is sensitive and then there is over sensitive. You may need to work on this difference. I would say, plunge in there and dare to trust. You may get knocked about but then again you may not. If you don't invest too much in people you don't know that well you will not risk getting hurt that much and that if you take everything personally you risk getting hurt more than you should in a given situation. Backstabbers are a part of life. Sad but true. They are, however, not the rule.People are different, there are nice ones and not so nice ones. You just have to do a bit shorting out. Keep an open mind and don't view everyone as a potential bully or you'll attract them like a magnet. Change has to come through you. Open up but don't leave yourself exposed. Don't invest too much too soon but don't shut yourself altogether. Being a sensitive person does not mean being a fool. You have common sense. Use it. Trust your instincts and do your best to convince yourself that you are worth the hassle in case you need to stand up and defend yourself (it can be scary, I know) I wish I could convince you but it is you who needs to take the (sensible) leap of faith.Good luck
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