| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have been friends with this guy for a little over 2 years. Last year, we attempted to date but when he didn't seem to value our relationship as much as i did, i drew back and ended it. I figured if he actually wanted to get into something serious (ie., exclusive), he would let me know.Fast forward to one month ago and he asked me out again. We had remained friendly since the time i ended it, and i never felt like we had an adequate chance, so i said yes. We talked about what happened the last time. I told him i was interested in a real relationship with him, and he told me that he liked me more than i thought (because yes, i had my doubts at times. He had a habit if disappearing sometimes, even before we dated.)He said that he didn't want to rush into labels, but wanted to date me and that being in a relationship was the common goal we would work toward.It's been a month and we've only hung out 2 or 3 times. He texts me 4-6 days of the week, but has never called. I don't want to seem clingy so i have kind of just been following his lead... even though i want to hang out and text him.this doesn't sound like 'working toward a relationship' to me. But I've never been in this situation before. I've never had a relationship before, so im not sure. Is this okay? How can i bring it up without being confrontational? Does he truly like me, or is he just bored? I don't want to waste my time nor let myself get too emotionally involved when it isn't going anywhere. Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2015): Thanks for both of your responses. I want to add that we physically see each other quite often because the companies we work for have started a relationship. But in the same way that you pointed out that texting isn't the same as a real conversation, seeing each other isn't the same as being together, and talking/casual conversation isn't the same as communication.
We have never had sex. He knows that sex would never get put on the table until we are committed. He knew that before he asked me out.
So now my question is: should I try talking to him to see where his head is at? Or should I just let it go and remain friends, without even trying? I know you suggest just being friends but I wonder if I should get his side of the story first.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 June 2015):
 I'm with Auntie eyeswideopen, texting is NOT conversing. It might be a generational thing, but you CAN NOT conduct a good and healthy relationship over texting.
I will even wager that if you took that last -34 weeks worth of texting from him to you/you to him - it would boil down to 90% impersonal stuff, 5% filler subject and maybe.... 5% that is actually about you two. HOW is that a relationship?
I think HE wants a GF, but he doesn't WANT to put in the work, or he is so dense he doesn't understand WHAT it take to make a relationship work.
I'd stick to being friends with this guy.
Dating someone means SPENDING time, getting to know more about each other, DO things together, share hobbies and interests and talk (NOT TEXT). Honestly, texting should be used for short little messages, like "going to be 15 minutes late" or good morning/good night... if you ask me.
I think you are wasting your time on this one, if you are looking for a BF/relationship.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 June 2015):
 I will never for the life of me understand texting. Why can't two people just talk to each other? I'm sorry I can't help you but this doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me. Whatever you do, do not have sex with the guy until you have some sort of commitment from him.
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