A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I joined a dating site hoping to meet new people and if i was lucky then to meet a guy and have a relationship with. I've been chatting to a guy for 3 week and we decided to meet. The date was ok. A couple of times he was on his phone selecting music he was planning on listening to. I know this as i saw him do it. we talked there were no awkward silences. At one point he was talking and i spoke and said, ''oh yes ive heard of that'' He then said, ''no wait till i finish now apologise or i go'' , He didnt say this aggressively more like telling a child off.Shocked and stumped i just said, ''right ok sorry'' The rest of the date went ok, we had a laugh and he said he wants to meet again. His behavior is off at times as we were heading out we had a goodnight kiss and he said i go now and just dissapeared. He then texted me an hour later saying sorry he went home and that he was getting the last bus. Fair enough but he could have said that to me as he was leaving. He does work shifts nights and days so know he wont always talk he says he really likes me but this 'control' he seems to like to have puts me off. I'm not one for sitting back and keeping my mouth shut but feel if i say anything he will take offence so i guess i just want to know is there any point carrying on and seeing him again , im english and he isnt so i wondered if its just his culture as he told me alot of different things about his country compared to mine do i just give up and move on even tho we both want the same thing or give him another chance ,
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 June 2015):
 Yep, OP you got lucky.
Just don't let this guy stop you from dating or looking for a guy to date. With online dating you might have to dig through a LOT of profiles who are either fake or heavily "embroidered" on. Some will sound GOOD on "paper", but not in person.
Good luck and LISTEN to your gut instincts. You KNEW something was up with this guy. NEXT time... Tell the guy you have to leave if he treats you in a way you don't like, then get up and leave. YOU don't HAVE to stick around, and you certainly do not have to kiss a toad goodnight.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2015): im the op, just a quick update i decided to ask him what does he want to do (gave him a chance to say whatever he needed then i was going to say my part of i didnt think it would work) but i didnt get the chance because his reply was 'and' he then deleted his profile and disappeared think i had a lucky escape this time , onwards and upwards
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 June 2015):
If it was meant to be you wouldn't be here asking this question!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (15 June 2015):
 No more chances. If he was that concerned about making a good impression he should have made better use of the first chance.
Culture often plays a huge role, but OP, you do not need to adapt to the ways of his country of origin. He moved to Britain so he can bloody well adapt to yours.
Why add more burdens to life than is necessary? Have standards and live by them. Expect to be treated with the same courtesy and consideration you would show someone else.
I wouldn't even bother contacting him again. Block and delete him and move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2015): Always always trust your instincts when first meeting a guy. I would also say probably a cultural difference. Move on swiftly....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 June 2015):
I'd say pass on this one.
Your intuition raised a few little flags, so WHY ignore them ? Yes, it's not nice to interrupt - but when we are in the process of getting to know someone it's QUITE common to jump into a sentence - for him to reprimand you like some 5 year old is odd to say the least. And it's a tiny hint of what's to come if you continue.
I'm wondering if his cultural background is one where women DO NOT speak unless spoken to... if that is the case, it's another reason to back away.
I don't think it's "giving up" if you decide to look for another guy, I think it's more of a mismatch to continue.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2015): Do not ignore the red flags that show he is an abuser.Run do not even walk away.You know something is off with him...your letter more or less states that.Follow your gut.You know you deserve much better than that.Drop him and cease all contact with him ..like yesterday.And be aware of your surroundings for a while..jerks like that do not give up easy.Good Luck and please...Be careful and next time you meet someone listen to your gut it is never wrong.
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