A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost 3 months. we have been around each other 24/7 for the past 3 weeks. We have sex maybe once every couple of days. in other relationships I am used to having sex two to four times a day. When we get done, I want to go again. no matter if i have gotten off. I want to give more and receive more. and he says "No, I'm tired". When he goes to sleep. he is. gone. We have talked about this issue before. He says that I want too much sex and that I have to lower my libido. He just doesn't want sex. To me, this means that he doesn't want to please me. and he just says that he doesn't think about sex that much and that he doesn't want me for sexual reasons. i am so confused. when did it become a bad thing to do it more then 3 times a week. makes me feel like im in an old married relationship. The last time i had a bf that didn't want to have sex with me, cheated on me... how do i get my man to come around?
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male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (12 July 2009):
Neither of you are out of wack, you just have different libidos or sex drives. A few times a day isn't necessarily too much - some people can't handle the idea though and it may be more than your boyfriend can handle.
If you both care about each other you should be able to get to some sort of middle ground where you are hopefully both happy. This would mean you'd not always get as much as you wanted but he would be more active than he is at the moment.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): 2 to 4 times a day is wayyy too much.
Having sex about 3 times a week is normal, you don't want to do it too much as he'll start to get bored of it.
Just when you do it, make sure you both get out of it what you want
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): The fact is, you and your boyfriend have differing appetites and needs. Its not that unusual - even though you are disappointed.
Anyway, maybe you should try NOT being around one another 24/7. Were you on vacation together? Perhaps once you go back to your normal routine of work or school you'll have other things to focus on and this won't be such a big issue.....by the way, what's so bad about him telling you he doesn't want you just for sex?
Would it help if you use a sex toy on yourself? (I guess some women who don't have a partner do use them sometimes....)
Does he have other qualities and interests that you really like? Worth considering.
However, if you find you really can't stand the situation, you'll have to re-think whether you want to continue seeing him.
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