A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need advice.I have had a close mate for about 6 years now and from what i knew of him he was a extremely genuine guy, all my group of friends seem to think so. I got a new girlfriend recently and her and this friend of mine used to be close friends for about a year a while ago. One day out of the blue she came and told me that this mate of mine went to her parents (he knws and speaks to them because of his previsou friendship with my girlfriend.) and said how im not a good guy, told them about the drugs i had taken throughout highschool and how im no good, and too my face this guy has always been a loyal close mate whose had my back. I saw my girlfriends dad after the inncident and decided i had to be a man and clear the air so i confronted her dad about it and siad i dont do those sort of things anymore and too not develop a bad opinion of me, he looked at me like he had no idea what i was talking about, and said it didnt happen,he also said girls manipulate, my girlfriend then came out and said to her father "what are you talking about , you told me that happened", after her fatehr left she put this huge act on as if she didnt know what was happening she later told me her dad dosent like getting invovled in affairs such as this. I confroented my friend about it and said how i dont care i just want to know why he did it and he just replied "didnt happen! beilve your mate bro, if you dont beilve me bugger you then!" now my girlfriend always says stuff like once he told me this and it was lie and making him out to be a liar, all my other mates have approached me multiple times and told me he didnt do that he swears and all this sort of thing. me and my girlfriend saw him at a station once and she did her best to avoid him even when he was waving us over to get on the train with him. Is my girlfriend lieing, she wont admit to it and when i ask her she gets all defensive saying "why do you beilve other people over me" i cant get it out of my mind because when i lied to her about something small she crucified me. I want to beilve her because i can not find a reason as too why she would make this up and if she is lieing it proves she will take a lie to the end. Also at the beginnign she said he told her dad but now when i ask her it goes back and forth between her mum and dad and sometimes she sais i dont remeber. Any advice as this has reuined a good friendship.
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affair, best friend, drugs, liar Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Her dad said 'girls manipulate' , and he didn't know what she was talking about! You have enough proof there so it's not your friend who's lying, dump the bitch.
A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 I think pinktopaz has summed up everything i was gonna say, I think you know its your girlfriend that is lying, and not your friend, and I too think that she is either worried as your friend may know something that she doesn't want you to know, or, that she doesn't want to share you with anyone, and was hoping her whopping lie was gonna make you just break up with your mate and she'd have you all to herself, but i guess she dint think you were as stand up a man as you turned out to be, and I certainly do respect you for talking to her father.
I personally can't see how your gonna move forward with this, lying is one thing, but she has dragged this lie on, to the point whereby she has been derrogatory bout her father, and now she is claiming she can't remember!!!!
I think you need to take your mate out, buy him a coffee or a beer depending on the laws of your Country's alcohol age limit, and apolgise profusely, and hope that he will forgive and forget.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): she has issues. i say trust the person you've known and trusted the longest.
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A
female
reader, AprilHeirwynd +, writes (7 August 2010):
 This is a tricky one but If I had to choose, I'd say your girlfriend is lying. It sounds as if she is being really standoffish about giving you an answer( people tend to do this a lot when lying) and your friend still seems to be open and friendly (he waved at the station and still wants to maintain friendship.
Maybe your girlfriend likes a bit of drama OR maybe she as fallen out with your friend and wants to get back at him (which really isn't very nice). It seems like she took the lie to far and may now regret it and feel guilty.
Is there also a possibility that she doesn't want your firend to hang around so much with you becuase she wants you all to herself?
Sorry I couldn't give you a conclusive answer...
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (7 August 2010):
I think you probably know that your girlfriend is sounding pretty much like a liar. You've known your friend for 6-years and you've only recently started dating her...believe your friend!
It sounds like she's being shady. Perhaps she avoids your friend because he has some dirt on her. Why would everyone be lying and making stuff up EXCEPT for her??? Makes no sense.
I don't think you should ruin your friendship over this girl. Sounds like she lies because she's just a compulsive liar that likes to key people up or she lies for attention. Either way, it's up to you to decide what you want to do, but this chick sounds like she has problems and it's probably not a good idea to shut everyone else out and decide that they're all lying and she's not.
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