A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, it has been a rocky relationship from the start, so much cheating, he's cheated on me and i have cheated on him, but he changed and became a better person these last 7 months, but then about a month ago he started back taking pills and then told me he cheated on me again, so we took a break but were still together. i've been seeing this other guy, we started out being best friends and over time i fell for him and he is so in love with me, almost obsessed with me, he's told me things about him that no one else knows. he even bought me a promise ring, he constantly is saying "please never leave me, promise me you will never leave me" and to be honest it puts a lot of pressure on me, i feel like i have to promise, school is about to start back and i am gonna end up having first block with my boyfriend and our break is suppose to be over, but he didnt come clean about cheating till our break started. anyways the other night i was with that guy and he started crying saying "please dont leave me, if you go back to him where does that leave me?" he literally cried in my arms. he doesnt go to school, he got kicked out for fighting too much so he doesnt have a GED or anything, at least my boyfriend wants to go to college to be a preacher, ironic that someone like him wants to be a preacher. so at least my boyfriend has something going for him in his life, the other guy works at a store fixing washing machines and dryers. he has his own place though. i'm not sure who to choose in the end. i love my boyfriend, even though he's hurt me and cheated, i cheated alot to. sometimes i wonder if i love this new guy or if its just lust, because he is the best i have ever had in bed. my boyfriend wont have sex with me till marriage because he is religious. he use to have sex with me, then he got religious. but anyways i hope someone can help me out here. p.s phsyically i am more attracted to my boyfriend, but i do have really bad trust issues with him.
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male
reader, Eddie Drumz +, writes (8 January 2012):
Maybe you should consider a 3rd choice-- that neither one of them is good for you. If your b/f has cheated and taken narcotic pills---most likely he will be a cheater and an addict all his life. On the other hand, the other guy may not be your answer with things you have stated, either. First and foremost, your boyfriend is a total loser and idiot. A percoset popping preacher who screws other women? Please; we already have too many of those in society now. Seems college never taught him about common sense. At all costs lose your b/f; he will only cause you grief. The other guy at least loves you and has real feelings. If you love him--you will encourage him to go back for his HS Diploma. But you cheated too--so you really need to lose that b/f of yours. It will never work. There is another lesson here. Maybe before you have sex with someone you may consider that they may fall in love.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): I suspect you have a very difficult home life without much permanence or stability. Otherwise, you would not be so desperate to be in a long-term relationship or feel the need to to choose "in the end" at your age.
I suspect your life without a relationship would not be "carefree," as worldylwise suggested, due to circumstances ww and I fortunately never had to experience in our teen lives.
I suspect the adults in your life are/were bad role models in dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships, so you never had an opportunity to learn what "love" really is.
You really need to talk to a trained mental health professional, not because there's something "wrong" with you but because there is everything "wrong" with your surroundings, and you need a neutral third-party to help you sort things out away from the influence of your home environment.
Best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011): Your age is 16/17 ? All I can say is why so much drama in your life. At our age I was thinking long-term as 2weeks max.
Really you do not have to be in a relationship, you can walk away from both of them and be carefree, focusing on what you want to achieve in life,your goals,not what these lads prospects are.
I don't think any of you are ready for a proper relationship, cheating,emotional blackmail are not the basis for anything healthy.
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