A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went to a party in the weekend and discovered that it was the home of a guy I was friends with for 7 years, but who I lost touch with over the last two years. During our friendship I was totally in love with him and he kept dating other women. We kissed a few times but he backed off saying he was scared. This is why we lost touch. At the party he expressed interest in getting to know me again and he told me that he had felt the same as me the whole time but was scared to get involved. When I am with him I feel a strong connection however he hurt me very much and I always felt like I fell short because he did not choose me. I am also afraid that the same thing will happen again. I met a guy a week ago who has a good job, owns his own home, has a good personality etc. He also wants to get to know me. Is it better to start afresh with someone you don't know or should I see how it goes with my long term friend who I see as my soul mate?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (27 February 2007):
 The idea of a soulmate is great. It's absolutely amazing to have a dream of finding someone who is so perfect for you that there is nobody better. The problems start emerging when, as you've experienced, the dream doesn't live up to the reality. You've been hurt once by this guy and while this doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again, it's not the greatest sign in the world either. If you do decide to pursue it with the old friend try to drop the idea of a soulmate. It will lead you to build up unattainable ideas in your head whereas you should concentrate more on the relationship.
CD
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