A
male
age
51-59,
*oose lips
writes:my girlfriend is bi-polar and we get along fine most of the time.she wants to move out of state claiming she will be happier there for the fact that she misses her brothers.her family i shall say.she is chosing her family and happiness over me.we been together for 4 yrs and im not ready to move for i dont want to leave my kids and my family.seems like she wants whats best for her.is she being selfish or am i for trying to get her to stay.life is not easy with her.she i let her go and move on?
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 OK, so you both want to be with your family. Is there no middle compromise? Could you not move somewhere in the middle of the 2 places?
Or perhaps she is unhappy in general and thinks moving closer to her family would solve the problem? What you need to consider is why are you not making her happy enough? What's the underlying issue?
I don't think either of you is being selfish as such, you noth want to be near your family, but it does seem like you are only seeing your own sides of the story. Sit down and have a discussion about what exactly both of you want, from each other, in the relationship, what she feels being closer to her family will achieve, how you would feel leaving your children, etc.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): This is not an easy one. You are torn between doing what is right by your family, yet your gf has been with you for 4 years. Can you not move to a place that is half way between both families? Maybe visit one lot one weekend and the others the weekend after, compromise in some sort of way. But it think it is selfish of her to want you to go to hers but yet again it will look selfish of you to stay around your family. Not an easy one. The decision at the end of the day is down to you two.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): respect yours family values
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