A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, this might be a little long sorry. When I was a freshmen in highschool I met this amazing guy, and i was pretty innocent when it came to physical stuff. Even though I was not a virgin i believed you needed to be dating someone almost a year before you have sex. Well i fell head over heals for this boy and we talked monogumusly for two annd a half months and were dating two weeks and had sex and he broke up with me the next day (homecoming day) i balled my eyes out. well he told me a couple days later he was moving back to his hometown and i was devastated. After he moved I found out I was prego. At first he said it wasnt his but in the end came around. Well after he came around he got a flight down here to stay for a night and told me he was in love with me and that he had never felt this way before and that he would never leave me and all that stuff and ended up walking out on me weeks later. I was devastated. I started drinking heavily. Got very depressed. It got so bad that I ended up in severe councling.its almost been a year and yes i still miss him. but he refuses to talk to me. but i still cry at the thought of him. Well my thing is is that since him ive lost all my morals and i dont know how to get them back i was seeing this guy who treated me like crap slept with my bestfriend behind my back wile we were sleeping toghether too and we were techincally toghether which disapointed myself but i always caved into him. Well in july i met this guy who was wonderful to me. He would open my car door take me too dinner and a movie and pay for it for once i thought i was finally becoming happy again...well i was at my bestfriends house (different bestfriend)and went to use the rsetroom as i walked back into the room i heard my friend saying u need to find me a guy and the guy replied back im single you can have me and she innocently said back dont you like someone and he said not reall no. Lets go out ill take you to a movie tonight. I recgonized his voice it was the guy i was seeing i immeaditly balled into tears. later that day i confronted him about it and he said he was just kidding around so i forgave him..well we got into a fight a couple weeks later and he said lets just be friends and little later i went over to his house and we ended up doing stuff (not sex) and a couple nights later we ended up having sex and one hour later he goes i think it would be best if we were just friends and i balled like a baby again and my bestfriend the one he was hitting on took me out to breakfest the next morning but that same day she started hanging out with him almost everyday and then she was taking him to homecoming. But secretly she didnt know i was still seeing him and when she would tell me he was going to buy her all these expensive things and take her all these places i would almost cry but i couldnt stand it. well one day he would be like i do care about u and i do miss you and the next i want to just be friends im over you. and the good days when he was saying he cared and missed me we would end up having sex. well i decided to cut all ties but it never worked im to weak and everytime i see him i end up having sex with hiim. i dont know whats wrong with me im afriad to be alone i think but before the guy i fell madly in love with freshmen yeear i was never like that. yesterday i went jogging and asked the guy that thats been recently hurting if he wanted to come....we ended up having sex in the park...it was a secluded area noone could see. and i feel ashamed and when i cry over these guys i also find myself thinking about my ex. everybody says i let guys always walk all over me now and use me for sex. do you think im doing that? whats wrong with me? do you think it has something to do with my ex from freshmen year as i never got over him? and about this recent guy tdo you think he is just using me for sex? please help me:) please.
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male
reader, tux +, writes (27 November 2008):
 I would not be able to tell you what's wrong with you, But i can give you some advice. Don't worry about being alone.. You are still very young... and you have a lot of time ahead of you where you would be alone... Opening your legs for a guy with not fix the problem of being alone permanently, but only for a short time while you have your legs open to him. If you really want to fix the problem of being alone, find a guy that doesn't care if you keep your legs closed. It may take some work, but each time you meet a new guy... remind yourself to be patient and wait and keep your legs closed... if the guy stays around for a long while.. then I will say go from there.
A
female
reader, Asked Angel  +, writes (27 November 2008):
 Oh sweetie i see so many similarities between you and where i was a few years ago.
Yes hun i do think this new guy is using you. Have you heard the saying 'you only get treated how you allow yourself to be treated'.
What i mean is why do you allow these men to do this to you.
For me it was because i was craving attention and to be wanted so every friday night i'd see my ex and he's make me think there could be a chance for us, after he's had what he wanted he would change his mind. This left me heartbroken and feeling dirty and used.
You have to love and like yourself before someone else can love you.
I also think i was punishing myself because i didn't feel confident about myself.
I am now in a five year committed relationship it hasn't always been easy (my partner has never treated me badly) but we have worked through things which were mainly about me feeling a bit down and not knowing how to deal with it. I can honestly say there is no-one better for me out there.
Please stop seeing these horrible men and start work on you and feeling better about yourself.
When you are the best you, you can be you'll be suprised how many nice men appear.
I wish you all the luck in the world and i know you can make things better for yourself
xxx
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A
female
reader, serenityjohnson +, writes (27 November 2008):
hello my friend i have some enlighting advice to for ok, because i'm 18 and have been in similar situations u just wont believe, so if you would message sometime i would love to discuss it with you and you'll be feeling a whole lot better about urself..
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