A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okaay guys, I need help and fast!I fell in love with this guy, lets call him Guy A. We had something so special and a lot in common. However I listened to a small rumour, said by a friend who I know liked my Guy A. Now I realise she could have been jealous, especially as nobody else believed what she had said but I was afraid of getting hurt so I told Guy A we should take a break.Along comes Guy B who I used to like. I was so fed up of feeling hurt and desperate to feel loved that when he told me he liked me I got with him. We've been together for just under a month now but I don't love him, I only like him. Guy A is still in love with me too and I want more than anything to be with him!However Guy B is madly in love with me and I don't want to hurt him!Please give me your advice and opinions.Do I stick with Guy B and give him a chance until something happens but risk losing my chance at real love with Guy A?Or be honest with Guy B (even though he thinks we're very serious, wants us to last a long time and buys me expensive things to show how serious he is) and tell him I dont love him anymore and I can't pretend to?I spent all last night crying and worrying about this I have to see these guys soon and I just don't know where to turn.
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a break, fell in love, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): i really think you should go with Guy A because it seems like you really like him and he likes you back. if you decide to go with Guy B then like things mite not work out and then in the process of not wanting to hurt him and please him you mite end up doing things that you dont want to. GO WITH GUY A!!!!!
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (4 September 2009):
 What your "friend" said is not a friend-ish thing to say. It doesn't sound like you'd be losing much if she did bugger off. Anyway, even if this guy is sitll telling you how much he cares, you need to end it. It's not fair to drag it out any further. It really isn't. Even if he tells you he'll hurt himself, you have to do it otherwise you'll be stuck here in a relationship that'll eventually turn sour because you'll lose it one day and end it in a bad way. It's better to end it now with a valid explanation then continue on. It's best for you and him.
If your friend is worth having, she'll understand when you explain to her that the relationship couldn't continue, but whatever you do, don't tell her that it was a break up because you were in love with someone else. Just tell her that you needed time to sort your head out. She needs to accept it and move on like everyone else around you. If she's going to wallow in all of it then that's up to her.
I hope this helps, good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (3 September 2009):
 You have to be cruel to be kind. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut what if guy B is forever telling me how i saved him from himself and how he loves me and he draws me pictures and sends cute texts all the time. hes so loved up and happy its so hard to crush him and tell him the truth! and i risk the chance of losing my best friend cause they're related (brother and sister) she said shed never talk to me again if i ever hurt him! :'(
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (3 September 2009):
Personally I think you should leave both. Forget about them and have some fun! You're still young and maybe in a few years time you'll find someone else who beats both guys. There's nothing forcing you to choose between them so if you don't know where to turn, just leave it. I would advise you, though, to not be completely dishonest with Guy B. Basically if you're just using him for comfort after what happened with Guy A, you should break it off with him. For his sake as well as yours. Good luck. X
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (3 September 2009):
 I have a suggestion - pick neither A nor B. Take a break from dating as it is taking its toll on you, frankly teen dating should be fun and not to be taken too seriously. If you are stressed about this and asking us for advice, neither boy is right for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): Oh, A - definitely A.
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A
male
reader, Zaph  +, writes (3 September 2009):
Hello, i think i may be able to help with your problem. Me personally i would want the woman i was in love with to tell me if she didnt love me.If you dont tell GuyB thats not fair to either of you because he wont get the love that every person deserves, and you should not miss out on what could be your true love because of someone else, if you want something really bad sometimes you have to be selfish and do what makes you happy, because ultimatley your stuck with yourself till you die, not necisarilly GuyB or GuyA, and you dont want regrets and what ifs. And rumors are called rumors for a reason....most of em are made up by some for lack of a better word assholes. Another thing, expensive things arent that special, it truly is the thought that counts, listen to The Beatles song, Can't Buy Me Love, its so true. So get out there and get your love. I feel bad for GuyB but if you dont love him youre doing him a favor by not leading him on. False hope is a terrible thing.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24 +, writes (3 September 2009):
You have to end it with Guy B.
If you don't feel for him as much as he feels for you and you're constantly thinking about Guy A, do what's best for him and end it. Don't drag out this relationship because it will hurt you and will especially hurt him.
Sit him down and say that you have to end the relationship because you don't know what you want. I wouldn't tell Guy B that you like Guy A or that you like someone else because it will hurt him a lot more. You just need to explain to him that you're not sure what you want at the moment - to be single or continue the relationship and that you need time to get your thoughts together.
I wouldn't get straight back with Guy A, either. I know this is not what you want to hear, but you need some time to think AND more importantly, you need to give Guy B time becuase it's not really fair to go off with Guy A so quickly when B has not done anything but give you care and love. You owe him that respect for getting with him on the wrong grounds. Take a time out and in a few months or so, go with Guy A. You may, however, meet someone else by then anyway.
I hope it works out for you xx
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