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female
,
anonymous
writes: HiI'm 29 years old and have been in a long distance relationship for nearly four years. Over this time my partner has worn me down a little, he has not worked for 9 months, he doesn't make the effort to come and see me or call me from week to week and will not commit to moving to be together.Recently i met a man who just took my breath away, he began a platonic friendship but both feel extremely attracted to one another. I then found out that he was married so we both agreed to behave, but since i have found myself finding excuses to pop in to see him, we have a huge connection that i just can't stay away from. We have kissed, not full on snogging but on the lips, and we have agreed nothing more can happen.I don't want to hurt my boyfriend but i'm not sure i'm in love with him anymore. I know no good can come of this and i'm sure he won't leave his wife, but i feel so strongly for him i just ca'nt seem to help myself. Please help!!!!! x x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): avoid the married man it can wreck sooooo many lives i have been on the receiving end and its not pretty . the women doing the cheating will always come off worse.
A
female
reader, Clarey  +, writes (10 November 2006):
 Neither. You are 29 years old and need to be aware that now is the time to pick a worthy partner if ever there was one.
Neither of these two is right; one can't be bothered and the other is married - which means he is very unlikely to leave his wife even if you do have a fling. If you have a fling with a maried man and it does not work, which is is highly lightly - you will pay the price for it emotionally. He will be unscathed. Men can do sex without investing any emotion, but they can desire someone so much and it makes the woman get carried away with their desire for her. It means nothing but physical admiration. There is nothing lasting about it.
They are both gambles that are too remote if your aim is to get married some day and have children and a family. Believe me, time can just seep away while one dalliance merges into the next. Time spent recovering from relationships wastes time too. Before you know where you are you could get to 35 with no family or possibility of it in sight.
Now is the time to choose not a gamble, but a dead cert, a fabulous, fantastic man who is worthy of you. Don't settle for second best or be diverted by confusing sexual attraction with love. It will go nowhere at all. Make sure you get lasting love, don't let flirting go to your head and look for the qualities that you deserve, in someone that really loves you for you, not for themselves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): RIGHT! Plain talking! Ditch your BF who just sound like a lazy sh*t!! He can't be bothered, er excuse me but you are only 29!!!
Then get right away from the second one, HE IS MARRIED!! That should be a no go area to start with. You both decided to be good! Just walk away before a whole lot of people get hurt!!!
Get a life!! Your own!
Take care xx
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