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female
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anonymous
writes: Basically without going into all the details of the conflict, my husband thinks his family (parents and brothers) should come first before me. Ironically he's not close to them at all and complains they treated him terribly, on the contrary me and him had a very close and loving relationship, that is until me and his family had a fall out and he took their side, when i confronted him, his answer was that his family naturally come first before his wife. Is that right? I thought I was supposed to be his closest family now and that I was supposed to be come first?Who comes first? or who's his first priority or responsibility to? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): You and your marriage comes first, always. Next, it would be time for your husband to deal with his family. They are his parents and his brothers so thus, his responsibility. Support him about his good choices and successes and accept his failures or difficulties. He needs to find his voice to cope with the demands of his parents and his brothers and this takes time. In some cases, patterns of 'extended family' dependence, runs deep into a marriage and this will undermine the solidarity, intimacy and cooperative work needed by your husband to a sustain healthy marriage with you. Yes, you and any children (or future children) should be his first priority. I would just talk about the two of you, man and wife and how you as a family will cope with different stresses in your marriage..especially the stresses that result when a man doesn't priorize his wife and family. This feeling is very hurtful and I am sorry. Take care
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): The wife always come first!
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female
reader, lost N love +, writes (8 December 2005):
A son is a son till he take's a wife a daughter is a daughter for life
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): hello,i think the wife must come first. If I were you, I`d ask him, what he wants - a wife or his family? If he wants his family then I think it`s better, if you seperate from him.
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