A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I'm concerned about my dad; he's had a major change in behavior and I wonder if it's dementia or not.He's obsessive about getting me to smoke and keeps telling me "You need to smoke, it's what all good girls do", then yelled at me for not getting him eight bags of potato chips from the local gas station.He always insists we should eat nothing but potato chips and Diet Coke together day after day... surely that'll get old after a while?It's just me and him together, Mom died when I was only 2 years old. Apparently Mom died in her sleep, naturally, no medical issues, so I'm told.It's been OK... until now.Now dad's obsessive about getting me to smoke, he also hates it if I even suggest trying new foods or to eat healthily and won't let me cook with him; he just wants to eat snack foods and drink beer.He also sits ranting at the TV and has been angry ever since the election didn't go his way... yes, he voted Trump. I don't support Trump, never did.He won't accept I'm not into smoking and claims "It's just the anti-smoking lobby... ignore them".He ate eight packets of Doritos in one morning and then drunk six cans of beer, stumbled out into the street in his tighty-whities and passed out; I later found out someone uploaded the video (via social media) of "Mr Passed out Guy".I feel like leaving but I can't due to my age.He's also yelled at my pet cavies, and insists "Fucking get rid of those cavies... they're a FUCKING JOKE!".I look after my pet cavies, keep them well-fed and played with, surely he should be pleased I've got a passion for something?I think he hates the fact I'm a girly sort of girl because keeps insisting I should wear more manly clothes, which is embarrassing. He's hateful about girly women and yelled at me to my face saying "But you need to be a tomboy, girly-girls are just wannabe Paris Hiltons who spend their mommy's or daddy's money and will be obese in later life due to alcoholism!"We're not rich, but not poor either.I don't have a mom, but who can I turn to for advice on dealing with dad's behaviors?I feel more like a carer than a teenager and it's embarrassing for me.I love my dad, but am worried over him; how can I as a 16-year-old deal with things?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2021): You can also text 741741 or call 1-800-931-2237! This is for the National Helpline!
May God protect you and keep you safe, sweetheart!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2021): You should find and call a local crisis helpline for help immediately! You can also reach-out to your school for psychological-counseling; which can be offered possibly by facetiming with your school psychologist. The school will probably intervene and contact child-protection authorities. There is no-way around that. You have little choice, if you want to be safe!
Do you have grandparents, uncles, or aunts? Coming to strangers online might not be of much immediate help! You need immediate on-site intervention!
If he becomes unreasonable, threatening, and aggressive; and he scares you! Sweetheart, there is no other option but to call 911!
First ask the dispatcher if they have a unit with a professional who is qualified to deal with people who have mental-health issues? You do not want policemen with guns, or with intentions of arrest. You want someone to help your father! Please say this specifically, so the dispatcher will try and get a psychiatrist or psychologist who can diffuse situations without resorting to weapons or unnecessary force. They will contact police should the situation require it. Unfortunately, many police departments don't have qualified individuals to deal with mental-illness; but your safety and wellbeing comes first. You are hesitant to reach-out for help, probably for this reason.
Your father seems to be exhibiting deranged-behavior, and forcing you (a minor) to smoke is against the law. Using any form of undue force or hostility towards you is abuse. You must report it to an adult you can trust; and child-protection services may be required to remove you from his care, and custody until he gets help. Fear of separation should not stop you from seeking help, or you will continue be at his mercy; while he could be getting worse and might do you physical harm. Don't think he won't hurt you, he is already getting worse! Especially, if he is drunk! He cannot control his aggression while intoxicated! He may hurt you and your pets!
I hate to repeat this at the risk of scaring you...but he could hurt you sweetheart!
You have to call and tell a family-member, or 911. You choose!
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