A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have had a roller coaster relationship. We were dating, then we broken up, then we got back together and married a few months after, then during our marriage we took a break a couple times for the same reasons. Anyways, this last time we were separated, I took interest in another man. My husband knew. When the guy I was dating and I stopped seeing each other, my husband wanted to talk to me about it. Even though we had our problems that we needed to work out, we never really wanted to divorce and he is still, even after everything we've been through, the one person I consider my best friend. I told him everything that went on between me and the guy I was seeing. I told him my reasons for wanting to be with that man, and he listened to me without judging. In the end, he told me he understood, and that me telling him what the guy did with me and how he was towards me helped him understand what I needed in a relationship. (I'm the only person my husband has ever been with. He was raised in a family of men and is clueless on women.)A couple weeks went by, and I have to admit after telling him everything that went on between me and my side boyfriend, the relationship with my husband has grown stronger. He wants to try again, and he wants to move back in together. I'm still up in the air on that. The question and problem I'm having is this: My husband is extremely interested in the sexual part of the relationship I had with the other guy. He wants to know all the details. I did have sex with the other man, and my husband knows this and is perfectly fine with it. When I asked him why he wanted to know every little thing the guy and I did together, he said, "I don't know...it kind of excites me to think of you with another man." I did tell my husband all the details, and right afterward he wanted to have sex. He even started doing some of the things I told him my fling would do to me. (Husband is passive in bed and not very exciting. Fling was aggressive and passionate.)Is this normal? In all honesty I feel closer with my husband than I ever have before. I feel good after telling him the whole truth and it's nice that he listened to me tell him the things I liked with the other guy and that's he's trying to do the same thing to please me. My husband never really tried to learn how to please me, but it's like after I told him everything he took it as constructive criticism and is applying it to our own sex life. The guy I was seeing was the typical "bad boy"; motorcycles, muscle bound, blunt and forceful. My husband is quiet and tends to be pretty naive. My husband said that the thought of me being touched and rough handled by a much larger man than he, and more masculine, really turned him on. Is this normal as well? Do other men feel this way, that the thought of their partner with another man is appealing and arousing? And why?
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