A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am finding it really hard to meet single women and could really do with some new ideas from the aunts and uncles out there.I have been single for a while after the break-up of a long-term relationship (9 years), am 36, with my own flat, an interesting but not fantastically well-paid job and I work in a town rather than a city and am generally in what would be a regarded as a semi-rural area (the nearest decent sized city is 50 miles away). At 36, I am no longer interested in clubbing. I am not terribly sporty - I inland sail but it's not a sport that attracts single women. I enjoy badminton but all the clubs round here only want league standard players and that ain't me. Someone suggested salsa dancing but I tried it a few times (not for dating) but it really isn't for me.I tried online dating for a while but the vast majority are single mums and I really, really don't want to get involved with someone who has kids. I have met one or two people and one of them seemed to be going very well until an ex showed up and I was dumped.I am involved in amateur dramatics and have been for years but it doesn't seem to attract many single women either. And where I work there are only 3 of us and again it isn't a place to meet people. I seem to have got to a point where the only option is to move but I'd really not want to start again somewhere where I have no friends (and I am blessed with loads here). There must be SOME alternatives or good ideas out there????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 In my day, I've been picked up in the grocery store/market, bookstore, coffee shop, cafe(especially if you're dining alone), in line at the pharmacy bitching about how slow they are, in class, at the gym, one time when I was driving, and sometimes when I'm walking the park. Online dating works for some, but it's not for everyone. Speed dating, I have yet to hear positive results but it's worth a shot. Living in a rural area where everyone knows your name and what laundry detergent you buy every month isn't going to find you the single ladies. I suggest maybe taking weekend trips into the city, patrol the park, bookstores, cafes, maybe quiet pub scenes first observing where all the ladies are hiding and the areas they frequent. How about attending a yoga, pilates, jazzercise, zumba, any aerobic class where a man can hack it deserves a chat. Going to have to broaden your horizon.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): Sounds like the type of area you live in is a good 'family' area, and so there will be a good proportion of settled (taken) or divorcees with kids, plus a heap of people you already are acquainted with. I'd suggest that even though you don't want to move to the city, you broaden your girlfriend search to the city area where there is a larger population to pick from. Plus more likely to be career women who are belatedly looking for a relationship. If you find Ms Right who wants a long term relationship, they could be keen to move out to your nice area.
Look for online dating people in that area, see if you can find speed dating nights etc? Sign up for a college/uni class at weekends that is likely to have a good mix of females?
In your own area, you could try joining an outdoors club like hiking - doesn't require you to be sporty, just healthy, and is good for you. Randomly I have 2 friends who've found small town partners in their 30s (Stafford, Carnforth) through a hiking club!
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