A
male
age
36-40,
*ailzZz
writes:So I've been dating this girl for almost two months. As a little background to the situation, I met this girl about 5 months after the end of a previous pretty intense relationship. The ex in question here turned out to be NOTHING that I thought she was. She lied about cheating on me and sooo many other things that it completely changed my perspective on how fake people can actually be, and pull it off. Anyways enough about ..her, So this is where it gets a little greasy. The culmination of lies and deceit inflicted on me really left me a little scarred, and untrusting. Consequently I log every conversation and message my current girlfriend sends from my computer lol... as unethical as it is, I feel if you can do it, then why not, I guess. The whole idea has brought me to the following question: are the things girls discuss to other girls just "how most girls act" towards their friends? or is it a sign of a much worse thing?? To make this more clear I'll let you in on a couple convos I read.The first one was about a week ago, she went to a bar with her friends and one of them knew one of the guys entertaining that night. They must have talked because they were friends on facebook the next day. I overread her telling her friend from her hometown how she met this really hot guy, and she agreed to hang out with him sometime.Secondly, about 3 days ago I read a message from a guy she met at her work (a pub). He was like "hey, I would love to get drunk and hit on you at work again, but I'd much rather do it somewheres else, anyways let me know"... something like that, to which she replied "yeah I'd definitely be up for you hitting on me somewhere else" etc etc... Also she's always asking about her ex to her friends that know him, and always tell them to inform him of how hot her new boyfriend is. The whole thing is making me feel like a pawn or something. And a lot of the messages I'm seeing are reminiscent of warning signs of cheating/misbehaving .. . Anyways despite these facts she's a great girl that I'd love to be with, but with all this in the way it really makes it hard to give her 100%... I really don't know what to do, as an engineer in training I can probably get a more glamourous girl, but I go for what I like I guess.. helppppp !!
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at work, drunk, facebook, her ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): Good job logging her conversations, seriously. :-)
Okay, I don't think she's the right girl for you. I mean, she basically wants to go off with any guy who hits on her. That's not cool! Gf's don't flirt back & accept invites from other guys, why even have a bf? Do you want someone who loves you & is true to you only, or someone who just kind of takes anything and everything?
She clearly is more interested in making her ex-boyfriend jealous, probably because she still has feelings for him. Do you really want someone like this? 0_0 She shouldn't even give a crap about him, she is with you after all.
I mean, like, what if she contracts some kind of STD? On top of her hurting you really bad, you'll have an STD? (Sorry, lol, I'm exaggerating, but damn, who knows?)
I don't know, I think you should find a girl who will treat you with respect. Love. All that good stuff.
Good luck.
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