A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 33, male, from England, the United Kingdom.I'm mainly attracted to women, but have some (albeit, small) attraction to men.I knew of this way back in September 2004 but have never really done much about it.Other life issues have got in the way of having a relationship but now I'm ready for one.However, my issue is that I don't know how to understand the gay "scene", and I'm not talking about it in terms of nightclubs or LGBT activism.Does the term "the scene" apply to other gay/LGBT things other than nightclubs or LGBT activism?I live in a town where there is no LGBT scene (semi-rural, quiet tourist-y town that sells on historical things, not nights out) and I lack the skills to approach men (for dating).I'm not the sort of man who wants one-night stands or friends with benefits, more, a stable relationship, whether it be short-term or long-term. I also don't want to get STD's too, as I know that can be a consequence of sleeping around.I don't have any friends to introduce me to the LGBT scene, as they're either in long-term relationship, or long-term relationship with kids/married with children or grandchildren. My co-workers are largely my mum or dad's age, and those that are my age have to deal with bills, kids, schooling etc.I haven't approached any men, simply for fear of one thing - homophobia and homophobic attacks.The problem is, I don't really know where to meet single gay/bi men or how to find a good activity to meet them. I'm not sporting - so sport isn't an option for me.I also have one flaw relating to this, I sometimes get too involved in the activity - researching for or learning the skills for it - that I forget I'm there to meet people as well.Am I wise to avoid things like Grindr/gay dating apps (I currently do this)?I will admit, I am totally not confident at all with regard to this and I wonder if my age is also an issue.I'm not officially "out" or open about it, but then again, it's my personal choice.I would really appreciate any advice since i am that new.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2019): I meant if you don't want to approach strangers then use a dating app. You know the person is gay, you'll know they're interested in you at least a bit before you meet them. Takes the pressure off. Why are you avoiding them, that's kind of how people meet now!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2019): I do want to meet people in person, but I need to get past a character flaw.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2019): If you don't want to go to clubs or approach people in person then surely dating apps are the only way to go?
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