A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband has been texting his female coworker. She is single and their conversations seem to be innocent and friendly. My only concern is that it seems like they text all day. He is also not very open about it. I didn’t even know they have been texting and only found out cause I saw a text come in from her when our daughter was using his phone. On mother’s day, he sent her mom some flowers and i thought that was nice of him but now with the constant texting, im not sure if I should be worried or overthinking. I have not confronted him and sometimes I feel like I just need to work on my own insecurities as nothing physical or inappropriate has been happening. Any tips to help me feel better about this situation? I also don’t want to end up looking stupid here because while I feel it’s okay to have friends of the opposite sex, I do feel there should be some sort of boundaries.Thank you,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2019): Keep making excuses for him.Sending her mother flowers?I am so sorry that you cannot see right in front of your face what is going on.If he is not cheating I would say for sure he is having an emotional affair on you.It sucks and it stinks to high heaven what he is doing.I would not put up with being treated that badly.So he sends you for a facial and everything is ok now?Wake up and smell the coffee lw .You are being cheated on whether you chose to believe it or not.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2019): Thanks for your opinions! I am going to talk to him. Now that I think about it, he didn’t even buy my mom or his sister anything for mother’s day. I didn’t even get flowers but he did get me a massage and facial so it’s fine. Something else that I just found out is that he puts her messages on mute so notifications so not come in which is weird. But again, I took a glimpse and there is nothing suspicious. Just regular talk.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2019): Wait- what?! How did you think it was a "nice thing for him to do" to send some other woman's MOTHER for god's sake, flowers? What would some other woman's mother have to do with him?It would be a nice thing to do if he sent his mother in law flowers, or his own mother flowers. It is downright bizarre he would do this for a coworker, regardless of the texting or not. Does he even know his coworkers mother, and if so, how? Why?I think you are being very naive and how do you know nothing physical is happening? Apparently you were completely in the dark about them texting (and about his random relationship with her mother), so maybe it is possible that you DON'T know any of what you think you do. His behaviour is highly suspicious and inappropriate, but you seem to be an enabler. Get your act together. He should not be sending frequent texts to a female coworker UNLESS they are planning get togethers with ALL of their families included OR unless it is business related. Do NOT let yourself be treated like dirt.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 June 2019):
 I think you should talk to him about it.
And I would start out with telling him that you DO NOT accuse him of cheating but you feel he is crossing lines. And I would quite honestly ASK him if he was OK with a MALE coworker sending YOU flowers for Mother's Day.
And do it when the two of you are alone.
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