A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years, and known him for about 5, and genuinely we are a very happy couple. We have had our ups and downs like most relationships, but for the past year or so it has been absolutely perfect, we don't really argue much anymore and things just tend to go smoothly.However, for the past couple of weeks I have started to feel a bit unloved. When we first got together, like most couples, we were loved up. We are in the same friendship group so we'd always be really cuddly around each other, we weren't stuck to each others sides because we had all our friends there but we were always chatting and holding hands, and it was obvious we were a couple, and I always felt so happy.But now he doesn't really show any affection to me when we're in public. And not even that much when we're alone either, apart from when we're about to have sex. But the issue I'm talking about is when we're out with our friends or in public. I don't want to appear needy because I'm not needy, and it's not that I can't accept him for who he is because we used to be affectionate in public at the beginning. I have noticed this for the past year or so but felt like I was being silly because he is good to me.One thing that has brought this on, is that I just recently went to a festival with him and my friends, and my ex and his girlfriend were there, (absolutely zero feelings for him) but everytime I noticed them they were really cuddly and it reminded me that all of my other relationships have been very affectionate, and that this is probably the reason that I'm feeling this way,(We had similar friends so I saw my ex and his girlfriend around quite a bit). All the photos took at the festival, you wouldn't even know we were together, we were never side by side and just wouldn't look like a couple. And I'm just not used to this, I'm used to being in the group of people, having a good time and being with my friends and being sociable but every so often it's nice to spend time with my boyfriend, or have him come and give me a kiss and just make me feel special. And I have always had that before so never had to even think about it, until now!I don't know if I'm being utterly silly! Or if I should speak to him about it? But then I feel like I would just cause unnecessary stress for the relationship, maybe I should just start being more affectionate with him in public and then if he shugs me off or is weird about it then I could say something, but maybe he just needs me to be a bit more affectionate for him to be! I usually am but feel like I can't because he's being this way!Sometimes when we're out in the group, he'll be chatting to all my girl mates and sometimes I feel like he's chatting to them more than me, it's like I'm not his girlfriend. Whereas the other guys in the group will come and sit next to their girlfriends and put their arm round her whilst they talk and I just feel like I need that again!Thanks in advance for the help!!!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 June 2014):
 I would try and SHOW him what you need instead of telling him. He might not realize how much you actually miss it.
Just don't overdo it.
If it doesn't work, then yes TALK to him. He can't read your mind.
A
female
reader, lifeSaparty +, writes (25 June 2014):
 Stay positive don't over think it the more you over think things the more you'll stress yourself out just cool out keep yourself busy with other things go hiking,fishing,dancing partying or what have you to take things off your mind and if you still SEE this is a problem then you can have a sit down with him to let him know how your feeling about his distant attitude
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