A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have already read some of your posts to try to answer my question myself...but, they kind of all say the same thing.I'm a young stay at home mom, 30, with two small boys. I've been with my husband since I was 23. I worked a little but have none of my own money. As a family, we accrued quite a bit of credit card debt. And then I got very ill so all of the medical bills are MY problem--- and have not had the strength to even take care of myself, let alone my two kids, let alone my husband. When this all started, about two years ago, he'd already had enough and it's gotten so much worse. He's verbally abusive. It's especially cruel when he behaves that way in front of the boys. He resents me for being sick and needing him to pick up the slack. I feel so guilty, but still don't think he has a right to scream at me constantly to the point that I am scared of him.I know how he is, already a very controlling man, and know he will not move out if I request a separation. And where can I go if I have no money and I'm pretty ill? I am just stuck. And things just get worse. My family thinks my husband is the nicest guy ever so they'd never support my decision...(he's pretty nice to everyone but me)...so I have no family support. Does anyone have any advice?
View related questions:
debt, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Aren't you getting any outside help? Sheesh. If it's because of pride, please swallow it and ask for help from family. Even if it's just to take a nap. That's what family, friends are for. I went into a depression because I wouldn't ask for help when I needed it. (My husband seen it as a weakness) but he was WRONG. In fact, many times husbands need to hear from OTHER MEN OR WOMAN, FAMILY OR FRIENDS, if they are being neglectful, insensitive, or just plain WRONG in their views towards their wife. You don't have to tell people the 'whole' story of your problems. Start with asking for a simple favor, then it gets easier. (Most people Want to reach out when an illness happens to a young mother) This too shall pass, and you will be able to give back someday to a needy person. I wish I could help you:) I get support from my church friends too. Everyone needs help now and then. If the medical bills bother you...then just tell yourself someday you will a job to pay them off. I love Suzie Orman's advice about managing money. She gives straight talk, and I feel better about how I'm handling my hard-earned money. Take care of you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): Yes! If you fear him, take your children and go to a womens shelter! I know when you hear the word shelter, you imagine the worse, but I have been to three in my life and they are really nice and cater to the children! You will get all the help you need and more!!! You don't deserve to be punished for being sick! Call or look in the yellow pages for a listing of womens shelters!
...............................
|
