A
male
age
30-35,
*oLoveNoLife
writes:Ok, Well these days and times everyone is into scandalous dating and non-serious relationships around my age group(18-22). I myself am 18 and I've looked far and wide to find someone who wants to have a serious relationship. I've been told by girls I'm physically attractive so that's not a problem. But that's just the thing also, their just girls.. Not women who know what they want, still exploring, dating, all that bs. One of the only places I can think of finding serious Women is church .. hah but I dont feel right searching for a wife(future) in a place of god. Where might I be able to socialize with like-minded people(women)? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Share Bear  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 Okay. I'm worried that you're approaching things in the wrong order. I was going to be more cautious than this, but then I saw your screen name; 'NoloveNolife' -and that clinched it!
Firstly change your thinking to 'no life; no love'!
Just how many girls have you approached wanting a 'serious relationship'? If you're looking for love or for 'the one', they're not ten a penny! Just how many girls have you tried to make 'the one' before you even knew if you'd genuinely want them- not just that you genuinely wanted any girl who was looking for a long relationship??
If you regularly approach girls ‘far and wide’ wanting them to be the one, you're gonna start watering down any genuine feelings. You're not looking for 'the one' you're just looking for any-one, (or anyone that is also looking for commitment before establishing whether you're the right one to be committed to!)
For one thing, imagine how the third girl you approach feels when she realised you approached two other girls just before her and declared similar very serious interests and adoration?!
At least the guy who approaches three girls saying he just really thinks they’re hott and would like- no pressure! –to just get to know them is being honest! You’re leaping in there with views towards a Serious Committed Relationship before you’ve even found someone that you (genuinely!) want a serious committed relationship with!
First things first! Take a step back and find the important things which contribute to your ‘life’. Figure out what interests you, what drives you, what you want out of life (for yourself- not just ‘I want someone to dote on!) Fill your life with friends with similar interests and enjoy! Get to know them, share personality with them and get to know them.
Sooner or later in your life you will genuinely fall in love without forcing it. You will have met someone who you genuinely adore and wanna be involved with because you want to be in a serious relationship with her- not just with anyone who wants a serious relationship!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 March 2009):
Well unfortunately not many girls will commit to a long term relationship up front because they don't know you and they might decide they don't like you after 3 weeks.
This is why you date people. You go out, you get to know eachother. Some times you will know you want something serious with that person, some times you will realise after a month or two that it's not quite right.
Stop looking for a girl who wears a T-shirt saying "I want to get married now please" and just ask a girl out who you like.
If it's right it will be serious pretty quickly.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): lol you don't have to go to church to find a serious woman you just have to keep your eyes open,see what's out there and take your chances.love is what turns most girls to women so try to be more open and give girls a chance to approach you i mean you're still so young you have your whole life ahead of you to look for a serious woman.i'm not saying you should hook up with someone who's all goofy and crazy 24/7,but i think you're too young to be looking for this type of women yet,no matter how mature you may be.i'm 18 too and i have very high standards and want to be in a serious relationship too,so most of the time i just turn guys down without giving them a chance.don't make the same mistakes i do!!!put yourself out there and see where it takes you!
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (23 March 2009):
 Well, you find like minded people by going out and doing activities that you like.
Let say you like the color red and always jog every morning in a red sweat shirt, and you always pass a cute woman who jogs the same path wearing red sneakers.... stop her sometime and ask her to jog with you to get coffee.
It sounds silly, but sometimes that's how love, or at least a decent relationship happen. I met my current BF through a mutual friend, and we ended up dating after always seeing each other on campus and always being on the same path. Sometmes simple things like that work out to bigger things.
Find something you like doing, maybe an art class, or a group activity like hiking, whatever. See who you meet when you're out enjoying yourself.
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