A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i met a guy 12 years older than me, said he loved me (very early on, mentioned marriage etc) he really charmed me, promised me and my son all sorts (without any prompting from me) even though he had not met my son. the things he was saying didn't ring true but ignored my instincts and let myself fall for him anyway and our relationship was very sexual. he dumped me out of the blue saying that because i only have one night per month when my son's dad has him over night that our relationship would not really work. i have never wanted him back after the way he treated me but i just feel so down, its been about 6 weeks now and i was only with him for 5 weeks anyway. i know he was full of crap, i knew it all along deep down. i am still working but i find it hard to motivate myself to get on with my life. to take my mind off things i tried to organise a day out with my friends but all but one said they were busy with prior arrangements (which is fair enough coz it was quite short notice and i had chosen a particular date) and two friends did not give me a proper answer and then said they had forgotten that i had asked them! that really hurt. the day i had wanted to go out was important to me because it was the day that i next had no son to look after and my ex had promised (his choice!) to take me away for a night. but then he dumped me a week before.i know that to get over someone i should be doing fun stuff with my friends but i really feel like they are not there for me unless their husbands or boyfriends are not available. i have had lots of bad relationships with dodgy men and lots of friends over the years who use me to go out with until they meet men and now i just feel so hurt by it all. i feel really lonely. friends have since been asking me to do stuff with them, but my heart is not in it at the moment. on my days off from work i struggle to make the effort to even get dressed
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): I think you should whatever that makes you happy, if going out with your doesn't then find something else that excites you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your kind reply. well on the day in question i could have gone out but decided against it coz of most of my friends being unavailable, i felt better than i though i would have, i stayed in, and found stuff to do and it was ok. i just feel really let down by certain friends and it makes me not want to see them, but i really i don't want to isolate myself from people, maybe when i start going out again i will feel better. got a few people to see this week. and you are right about the man situation, i am determined not to be so easy again
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 It sounded like this last guy was quite the player and really fooled around with your emotions.Let's face it, this guy dangling the winning prize in front of you and just as you reached for it, he pulled it back and yelled just kidding. It sounds like in your head you realize he was a king-sized jerk, but not in your heart -- which is understandable. The heart sometimes isn't as quick to change as the mind is.Right now, I also suspect that you are worrying whether you are going to find Mr Right who is going to accept you and your son.In short, one day you will -- it may take some time but eventually you'll meet someone who will sweep you off your feet.The key is to be ready for the moment to happen. I suggest doing something positive. Join a gym, start exercising, join a book club -- do something that gets you out of the house and mixing it up with people and something that you are passionate about. Enlist your girlfriends' help in introducing you to someone with character.The people you attract are often reflections of yourself -- if you are positive you'll attract positive people. You just need to make that change and make it happen.Good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): Oh I know how do you feel. I wish I was able to help you. Just look at it as an experience and let it go. This chap was looking just for sex. Next time when you meet a guy remember to do not become too close too early. Time is the best judge always remembers that! Give the relationship enough time, it will find its own direction. Don’t give the liars an opportunity to use you, avoid any sexual relationship until the right time. About your friends I have been in the same situation as you, I really needed a friends company while they have not been there for me. Don’t get that personal maybe it was a short notice or they have been really busy. Try to relax, do not stay home if it bothers you and makes you think more. Have a nice cup of coffee or do something that you like and enjoy even if nobody is there, go walking or shopping… something fun whatever it is. I am sure you will feel better it takes a little time. Take care of yourself, I hope you feel better
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