A
female
age
30-35,
*rettypink
writes:how will i gain my trust back from my boyfriend he cheated on me with my best friend who stayed the night and i wanted a bath so i did and there was a spider i there so i called him and he had an hard-on so i just told him too get out and that!!!! and then i was having a nice bath n the door open my mate was going out and i asked her what she doing and she said someone at the door and i said i didn't hear the door and she said don't worrie do i had me bath in the end and went down stairs and i didn't bother talking too him all night because he goes too me i aint doing nothing with ********* and i just said whatever because i no different!!!so next day me and ********* went too our college thing and i asked her did she get off with my bf n she said yes and she told me not too say nothing but it was too hard sooo i just came out with it and he tryed denying it and stared shouting at me and went too kick me out soo i told his mum about it and in the end he told the truth!!!i do blame my mate for this because she did take her top off and she was standing with just her jeans on and her bra sooo i told her too get it on and she wouldn't listen!!! in the end me bf went up stair because he said he was tired but he went up stairs too masturbate soo he really pissed me off cause i shouldn't have too live with this!!!but i want too gain his trust back plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz help me i really love him he said he won't do it agen but that just word anit it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wb plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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best friend, bra , cheated on me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, prettypink +, writes (26 May 2009):
prettypink is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks agen
I am taken your advice but i don't want too dump him!!!
i am starting too gain trust back just not as much as i would like but we all can't be greedy lol
can i have some advice on how he could start giving me the trust back???
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (25 May 2009):
 You don't need to gain his trust back, it's the other way around! HE has to prove that he will not cheat again.
Both your boyfriend and your best friend are slimy. You can do better than some guy who's going to cheat on you and lie about it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (25 May 2009):
 I must admit I agree with the others regarding the advice they have given you.
You have asked for help, but if you chose to ignore that advice then sweetheart I am sorry to say you are being a doormat and this guy will continue and continue to do the dirty on you. He is obviously a very good actor to put the tears on as he knows he can win you around again. He knows also what to say as it has worked so many times before that he knows you are a soft touch.
I realise you are still quite young but you are no baby and the so called friend was never a true friend. For him to go near her screams that he can never be trusted around any other female.
Do you want to constantly have no friend's just in case he ends up fancying one of them and they fancy him.
He has now made you paranoid and you are wearing blinkers which are all wrapped up in the fact that you love the guy so much. Love is a two way street, it is not about you constantly giving your love and him taking it and giving you nothing in return.
Love is where two people respect and are loyal to one another. Loyalty is not going off and playing around with one of your friend's sweetheart.
Sit up and smell the roses and start to realise that you are worth so much more than what this guy is giving to you and how he is treating you. He has NO respect for you and certainly NO loyalty, he has proved that over and over again.
There is a guy out there who would treat you like a queen and who would feel really overwhelmed that you had chosen him to be your boyfriend. Someone who wants to spend time with you and would NEVER EVER consider hurting you.
Only you can make that final decision but at the end of the day, don't ask for advice and then say, well I can't do that because I still love him.
Stop being the doormat NOW!!!
Keep us posted if you want to get through this. Believe me you can but you need to find a little fire in your belly and say enough is enough.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Just cos he says he won't do it again, it doesn't mean he actually WON'T do it again. If he can cheat with your bestfriend (who you can hardly can a bestfriend) then he could cheat again with a number of girls. He needs to prove he won't do it again, so put your foot down and make him earn your respect and trust back. If you can't do that and don't think he will change then end it with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): "i do trust him" and "im scared he will do it agen!" contradicts each other. If you are insecure, you do not have trust. You cannot trust someone and also feel he will cheat on your again, unless you can trust that he will cheat on you again and accept that he may cheat on you again.It is not something you do to gain his trust back, but something he does over time to gain yours. It is apparent you want to accept him back into your life. There is no advice that any sane minded person can give you that you do not already know. It's all a matter of whether you will move on or not. Otherwise, one of the best ways to learn to change ones ways, is to experience the pain of the deed. In this case, you might as well take him back regardless of who tells you what.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): what do you want to happen - nothing seems to change if you dump him loads and then get back together - aren't you just saying hey its ok to behave that way...again and again?
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, prettypink +, writes (25 May 2009):
prettypink is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey
i don't want too dump his because i love him too much,
he said he won't do it agen!!!
i do trust him because we have moved out from were we use too live but it the fact that im scared he will do it agen!!! i have dump him loads but i keep going back because i love him too much he said he sorry and he even cryed in my arms loads off times he said it a mistake!!
i don't even talk too her nomore and nor does he
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): he is not into you there are many guys out there you can find your true love it happened to me 3 months from now the first thing i do is cry a lot and then i decided not to cry but i still did a lottt and after that i did not cry then my grades went more better
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): are you a bee? why so many zzz? makes you look like you are 5.
he is not into you - he would not have done it if he was... go find someone who is....zzzz
Star.x.
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