A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:So I recently got this job as a carer, caring for a client with spinal cord injury (shes in a wheelchair).It is different from anything else ive done before, now this client can be a bit rude with her loud voice telling how to fold her clothes, butter her bread, how to do laundry and literally everything as if im stupid.She makes me cook and clean, hoover, mop her big house which none of the other workers do cause is not part of our duties as she has a nanny for that. But she makes me do them. She shouts at me infront of her family and the other day she was talking about me with her nephew and friend saying i dont shower, which i do twice. a day, im a very clean girl. No one has ever said i smell, my mum and bf and friends says im very clean and smells lovely.I have never been so disrespected in my life. I hate going there, im a very nice sweet person so i try to brush it of and support her but shes not a nice person, i dont want to tell the company this cause i know they will just defend her cause they need her money. Ive been there for 2months now and i want to quit at the end of this month. When should i email the manager and what do I say?
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female
reader, Spendy +, writes (17 June 2016):
Spendy is verified as being by the original poster of the question So, spoke to the manager and she didn't believe me, said all the staff members loves the client so it can't be true how i said shes treated me. I have left the job. I feel very upset that she'd jump to clients defense. On my last shift there, i told the client my back was hurting me and she made me do more work. I have never been treated so poorly in all my life:(
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2016): Don't go to this person anymore tell your manager they make you uncomfortable and you do not wish to work with that person. I worked in care when I was young and most people were lovely but one woman was so awful and used to scream at me,reducing me to tears and I would stand outside her door afraid to go in. The worst was another client, a man who was sexually inappropriate towards me. I refused to work with either,especially the man and at least a couple of times my managers tried to send me there when they were short staffed,I had to really put my foot down and protect myself. In the end I quit after 6months as I felt the treatment of staff and organisation was bad. Honestly it is not worth putting yourself through it with the nasty clients, it will crush your self esteem and in the end you will dread going to work. Be honest with your manager about this and be prepared to stick up for yourself should they try to force this client on you. They need the clients money but they also need staff! Some clients are very particular with who they get on with and your employers should understand and acommodate this. If they can't then find another job, you need happiness in your life and to not be treated like crap, it's not all about money.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (15 June 2016):
 Ask her straight out- " Would you prefer another carer, because I cant see this arrangement working for either of us ?" If she doesn't want someone else set some boundaries and if she does leave. Being disabled is not a green light to be horrid to someone trying to help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2016): Can you record any of thsee abusive comments using voice recorder on your phone? It may help in any discussion with your line manager or if required in the future. This may break privacy rules so don't get into trouble but...I just think as it stands it's their word against yours. Either way try and stay professional and leave on good terms. It would not harm you to tell her you will not be standing for the verbal abuse any longer. Practice being stronger. You have nothing to hide.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (14 June 2016):
 "I have never been so disrespected in my life."
"When should i email the manager and what do I say?"
Have you ever heard the phrase "killing (someone) with kindness??????" You can write the email whenever you please..... and what you say is:
"Boss.... you wouldn't believe how tough it is to be the carer for this woman.... I'm ready to throw up my hands and say "Forget it". BUT I can't help but imagine that she is going through one of God's toughest test... with her spinal cord injury, and all.... Sooooo, can we meet and have a discussion in which I will tell you just how tough it IS to be her carer(?)... and we can come to grips with how I can do the job for which you've hired me... while not selling my soul to the dark side of this woman every time I go and care for her? Look forward to when you want to meet.... " (signed, your name here)
Give it another try... and see if you can "roll another mile in her wheelchair, and come to grips with how to handle this difficult woman.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (14 June 2016):
 Honestly sweetheart, you have to walk away. Sounds like you should tell her exactly how she has made you felt--in a mature respectful work manner way. And resign as quickly as you can.
NO one should be disrespected or called dirty by ANYONE. It sounds like youre really sweet and unable stand up for yourself but by resigning you are saying I dont want this, Im leaving and thats more than enough to let her know that you wont deal with the bad treatment.
Good luck
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