A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey - please can you help me!I'm 16 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 (nearly 6) months. Recently I've been thinking about breaking up with him - I just don't have the same feelings for him anymore and there are lots of things that he does that really annoy me. The thing is that it's his birthday today and so obviously I can't do it anytime soon (!)... but I'm going to his house tonight to say Happy Birthday, etc, and originally other people were supposed to be coming as well, but it's ended up just being me. How am I supposed to sit there and be normal with him when in my mind I'm sitting there wondering when I'll be able to break up with him...? And also tomorrow night I'm going out for his birthday dinner with his family and that's going to be just as awkward. Will it be better to break up with him after the meal? Or will his parents think that I'm rude for having a free meal and then dumping their son!? lol Another thing I'm worrying about is how to dump him. He's my second proper boyfriend and my last boyfriend I dumped over msn because we hardly ever saw each other and so would be hard to meet up just to break up with him and he was really obsessed (it was also a short relationship) lol but whenever me and my current boyfriend meet up (which isn't often - there's another thing, I don't really have time for him =/) he talks way more than I do, and so if I break up with him face to face, it will be really hard for me because he's the one usually talking! And he has no idea how I'm feeling at the moment... I know I can't break up with him any other way because I've been with him so long and at least owe it to him to break up face to face. Please help! When should I break up with him, how, and how do I do it in the nicest way possible? Oh, and what am I supposed to do tonight!? haha =(Sorry about all the writing!Thanks =)xox
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): Sorry to say.. There is no nice way of breaking up. Even if you are "nice" about it he might use that very fact to beat himself up about it.. That you were so considerate and he needs to win you back and bla bla bla.. Its almost better that you be mean to him, or not coddle or play mind games with him at least. Just say straight out what the reality of the situation is. The best kindness u can do him right now is not to sugar coat it.
There's never a right time to say goodbye, so just do it. Sooner the better.
A
female
reader, humanlove +, writes (8 April 2009):
Hiya,you seem to be very unhappy with this relationship.You might want to ask your self a few questions.What attracted you to him in the first place?..if that still make you feel something for him then maybe you might what to save the relationship by talking to him about what he does that annoys you. You could work on trying to save the relationship because what makes a relationship work is about compromising the behavoiur of the other because you love them.If you do want to end it how will you feel about it?...do role play about what you would say to him and how you will feel. Be aware of your actions and words,and how you act to him. Be truthful and say as much as you can. Try writing down what you want to say, so you don't miss out what you would like to him. Because you will find it hard to have closer if you don't tell him what been going on with your emotions and how you was in the relationship.Breaking up is not a easy thing to do but if this is what you want there is never a good time to do it but think about it be sure thats what you want then do it. The longer you leave it the harder it gets.I hope this helps if you want to talk more to me you can. All the best.HUMANLOVE
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A
female
reader, Honey Sweet +, writes (8 April 2009):
 after the meal is a very gd idea. hell just think your doing it for attention.... have you tried to talk about him about how you feel?does he know how you feel?Maybe you should talk to him first because you never know. boys need to know when they are being annoying or nasty. say to him very politely but honestly "your not the way you used to be. wheres the guy i fell in love with? etc etc" if he doesn't sort it out then tell him good bye. i really hoped this helps. because ive been there too. It kept whirling in my mind, but i didn't really want to dump him.. but my boyfriend started to neglect me, he wasn't trying hard enough, snapping at me, making me feel tiny... it happened a few weeks ago, i called him, it was so hard to talk to him, he assumed straight away that either i was going to break up with him or tell him something bad has happened. then we talked. i cried. i felt a billion times better. my boyfriends getting better. all you really need to do is talk. communication is absolutely everything! and i realize that now. but if the other one doesn't want to do this, then there not worth it. i know how you feel.. ive been there before. hang in there. i hope this has helped.call him... talk to him.. honey xxxx
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