| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am having a very confusing problem with one of my friends and I don't know what to do. Basically we slept together a few months ago and now I am confused. We are both girls and that is fine with us as we have both been with other girls before.The problem is that ever since then my feelings for her have become stronger but I really don't want to ruin our friendship by asking her out. Whenever we are drunk together she is cuddly and tells me she loves me but when we are just hanging out during the day I feel like she backs away from me if I even go near her physically. Well I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but I really need to know if she likes me and if I should ask her out and risk our friendship.... because I can't go on like this forever!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (4 August 2005):
Ask her if she likes you. Straight out. Don't hem and haw, or try to mince words. Then tell her about the mixed signals you are getting from her, and tell her that is why you have not asked her out on a date before. She may be getting mixed signals from you, and you don't even know it!
A
female
reader, Auntie Ann +, writes (4 August 2005):
Try talking to your friend explaining that you feel as though you are getting mixed messages from her, e.g. cuddly when drunk and distant when sober. Ask her if this is related to the night you spent together saying you are happy to discuss this if she'd like. I suspect you will be able to find out how she feels about you by her reaction. You don't have to go as far as asking her out to discover her feelings and if this is a true friendship it won't be ruined by a frank discussion. I do hope this puts and end to your anguish so that you can find out once and for all what's going on. Good Luck!
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