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writes: I am in a long term relationship with a plan to be married, but I have an ongoing problem. My partner does not like one of my oldest friends and gets very annoyed when she, on the rare occasion, has come into the house. This weekend coming I wanted to have a bbq for a few of us to get together as we haven't all got together in ages. I invited "the friend" as I thought it would be o.k in this situation, in the daytime with others also invited. I was wrong. He went off his head about it and just tried to intimidate with pushing and shouting. How else can I deal with this problem without backing down on having my friend into our home and not subjecting myself to a man who shouts and pushes like a badly behaved child?
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reader, Karen +, writes (15 April 2005):
Are you sure you want to be with a man who pushes you around over such a trivial matter?? What would he do if you argued over something much more serious? That's a worrying thought, dont you think? Is there a particular reason why he doesnt like her, do you think? I think he is behaving very childishly. You are both entitled to have your own friends, we may not always get on with our partner's friends, but we bite our tongue and put up with them for them. How would he feel if you behaved like that about his friends?You need to tell him that your friends are as welcome as yours are, and if he shows off while they are there, the only person he is showing up is himself.He needs to learn to show you a bit more respect.
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