A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend who is 21 for over a year now. I'm a virgin and he isn't. We've tried to have sex and I've found it very painful, it's not because I'm not wet enough because I have been. Whether it's because I'm not relaxed enough I dunno. So what I need advice with is, will the pain stop if I just go with it and just let my boyfriend put it in regardless of the pain? Also, I would like to know what possibly the pain is, I've heard it's because of the hymen. So all answers will be very much appreciated!And yes I'm on birth control!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): If you don't think it's serious or sinister pain, it may just be nerves. My friend worked into it over a couple of weeks where each time he would put a little more in and just sit there or pump a little and she said that really helped her nerves :)
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 April 2013):
 Did you ask the gynecologist who prescribed the birth control about your hymen? Are you able to get your own fingers into your vagina? If you have, have you tried to get one or two inserted? Can you use tampons? If you can't, you need to see your doctor.
Is the pain overwhelming, is that why you stop trying? Basically, for many women, there is pain upon first entry, whether it's from the hymen being 'torn' or abraded, or from the sensation of being stretched in a way that hasn't happened before.
Being tense or nervous can be a problem as that tends to lead to involuntary tightening of the vaginal opening.
There's a condition called vaginismus which basically means the vaginal opening squeezes itself virtually shut so that nothing can enter. That would have to be dealt with by a medical professional.
So again, back to the doctor discussion.
http://www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/3047.aspx
That may be of some help to you.
Just take it slowly and don't worry about it too much, you'll get it sorted!
Best wishes.
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