A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When is it okay to sleep with a guy you are "seeing" without giving it up too quickly OR playing too hard to get?So...I met this guy a couple of years ago. We were just really good friends(I actually met him thru my ex). When my ex and I broke up we admitted to having feelings for each other. Because I was going thru a tough time, I decided to back away and we did not talk for four months. After that time, we reconnected and started having really long convos on the phone. Finally, it progressed to a point where we are seeing each other 1 to 2 times a week and we talk every day multiple times a day. Usually, he calls me when he wakes up, when eh has free time during the day and before he goes to bed. He went away for a few days with his family and called me every day whlie gone...so I believe this shows clear interest. This has been going on for 7 weeks. At the beginning, we both wanted to take things slowly. We have hooked up - basically twice, but no sex. It's sorta tough for us to hook up, anyway, cause it's a distance relationship (1 1/2 hrs. apart) and he usually comes my way (but I just movd home with my parents...and he's a respectful guy) :)Anyway, the most we've really "talked" about "us" was the other day on the phone and he basically brought it up and said we might be more than friends...and that he would not come see me as much as he does if his heart wasn't in it.I definitely want to progress the relationship at this point. He has been such a good friend of mine for so long and I am so happy we were friends first. Now, I absolutely adore talking to him and being with him and clearly want to be with him. So...finally, I am going down to see him this weekend at his place. I am fairly certain that something will happen adn I'm okay with that! I'm just concerned if I would be giving it up too quickly seeing as we've really only hooked up twice...?But, I feel like he sorta feels as if he's chasing and chasing and getting no where...seeing as it's been 7 weeks of "dating" and not much hooking up...suggestions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): We do see each other once sometimes twice a week nowadays...by "hooking up" I mean have some sort of sexual relation (but not sex). Most of the time we see each other, it's during the day or for a dinner, but we are each going to our own homes after, so the possibility of anything sexual has been out of the question.
I'm sure if we were in a position where we were going out later at night and we lived near each other, so we could stay together, something more would've happened by now. I like that we've been almost "forced" to take it slower sexually due to circumstances. It's allowed us to really get to know each other and have a deeper relationship with each other...
...of course, I do feel ready to bring it to the next level. I just don't want him to think as soon as we have the opportunity to do more sexually, I just want to sleep with him...
...make sense?
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Sexual relations are always up to the individuals involved, in my opinion. Certainly, after knowing someone for a couple of years, and after seven weeks of "dating," it could be appropriate as long as both are comfortable having pre-marital sex or simply a sexual relationship.
You say that you see each other one or two times a week, then say that you have only "hooked up" twice in seven weeks. Which is it?
Anyway it sounds as if you have not actually been with each other much in person recently, but talk a lot. If you are both comfortable and ready, go for it. Some couples escalate sexual relations very quickly, even within a few dates or less. Sometimes lust drives a couple to have sex on a first or second date. Others wait much longer. Men are often ready most anytime if attracted. It's all about individual comfort and preference.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Hi,
after you guys have known he other so long and have been "dating" for 7 weeks I think you need to progress your relationship in all matters. He will not see you as being loose if you sleep with him , I'm sure he is waiting to get a sign from you worried that he might be moving too quickly.
I say go for it! good luck.
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