A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I really like a guy that I met through my work and we have been seeing each otber occasionally since last summer, just meeting up for dinner or coffee etc. In October he invited me to his house and he told me that he only invites people he really likes. We had a fun evening and we danced and drank wine until the early hours. He said I should stay at his place at to my surprise offered for me to share his bed. I didn't know what to say but in the end I did, but he just went to sleep which was fine with me, although a cuddle would have been nice. This happened on a few more occasions with never more than a cuddle in bed. I thought this was because he was struggling getting over his divorce. Then, just after Christmas we were at his place and he had had a few drinks and suddenly mentioned that he had ended a relationship just before Christmas with a girl had a sexual relationship with. I was stunned and asked him why he hadn't told me, and he said he didn't feel that he had deceived anyone.My view is that from the moment he invited me to share his bed, even if there was no sex, there was a relationship between us, particularly as he was encouraging me to spend more time with him. I don't understand this and non declaration of facts constitutes a lie for me.I have not seen him since and I no longer trust him. When is a relationship a relationship?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): When we met, he was not with anyone at all! He told me he had just ended a relationship with someone. What happened was, they got back together again and he did not bother to tell me! I should have said that in my post!
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Hi,
It looks like he had two options on the go and couldnt make up his mind. At least he didnt take advantage of you then tell you he was seeing this other girl, that has to count for something.
But I do see where you are coming from, he should have been honest with you. But with internet dating and all the options open these days I imagine you are going to meet a lot of men who have a few irons on the fire as it were. You might even be in this situation yourself where you have two men who you quite like and are meeting up with them to decide which one is the best for you. It's quite possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I think if nothing was happening between you (ie. kissing, having sex) I don't think he was deceiving you. My guess is that in all the time he spent with you he grew to like you, hence ending it with the girl he was seeing before starting something with you.
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