A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi thanks for reading. In a relationship with a guy three months this month. He's 25, I'm 24. We live other side of england in a sense so we go for weekends away. I did suggest dates etc (we only ever had one day date was our first date) since then he said wants to spend more time so we stay over night.We do have sex, but its calming down. Not in a negative way.He's going on a family holiday on christmas-mid jan. I am going to miss him as we do meet nearly ever other weekend or max after 3 weeks.As a surprise he asked me to go away this weekend gone, i said yes. He had brought me two surprise xmas gifts. With meaning, one is a book ( i love books) he had remembered what type i liked etc. Another is i broke my small mirror when we went jean shopping for him. Hes got me a personalised silver mirror. presents with meaning...Same time a month ago we were talking and i have told him i love him because i do. but hes told me that he doesnt feel that way yet, its too soon and he can't say yet that i'm the one to settle with forever.So i'm in 2 minds. he treats me with love, he lets me use his phone, i know his passwords for his emails etc. no secrets he opens up 2 me. same time my ex's always said they loved me first.hes first guy who said this.what do i do? im worried im going get carried away but when i'm with him, i feel loved. we came back shopping, ate food and watched my fav movie on his laptop within the cottage. i do love him
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2014): Relax. He loves you. He just doesn't know it. He doesn't recognize it just yet. It'll dawn on him soon and he will let you know.
You have nothing to worry about. He loves you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2014): hi allthanks for your responses, he says he really cares for me and his actions show it just my own insecurities.He knows he going away for a month nearly and where he going we cant really have any contact. but we show our feelings in a different way- i say it i will miss you wheras he trys to distance himself from even discussing it.i'm just scared as in feb 12 his bday and 14 valentines. i want to get him some really nice heart felt gifts but then i think should i, or is that just pressuring him,At the beginning a lot of hot sex, now we did it 4 times in around 18 hours and majority time just spend time together. from that side i feel more like he's settling in a sense. Also at begining use to kiss me out in public etc whereas now, hold my hand, will be protective but kissing or touching me etc is when we are back home.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2014): Some people take a little more time to say it. It's actually a good thing that he did not say it back because it shows that he's most likely telling the truth, it would be more concerning if he said that he loved you just because you did and didn't want you to feel bad about it. From what you say he definitely cares about you and treats you with respect, so give him some more time, you'll probably hear it from him soon, when he's ready.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 December 2014):
 Some people will say I love you at a drop of a hat, others WANT to take the time to FEEL that when they DO say it, it matters. I think YOUR BF is one of the latter. And I think it's a good thing.
It's ONLY been 3 months. So for now I would LOOK at his actions and not expect the ILY asap. LET him, figure that one out on his own. And maybe, him going home for the holidays will make him realize how much he actually cares.
I took me a good 5-6 months to say it to my husband. The guy I dated before him I never said it to, because .. well, I didn't LOVE him in a I WANT to be with you for the rest of my life, but more of a lust/care thing (at least to start out).
I think LOVE is overused by many people.
So for now, I'd give him a bit more time to decide. Judging by his actions and how he treats you he OBVIOUSLY care for you deeply.
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