A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm 20 and I'm single. I've been told hundreds of times by people, my age and my parents age that I shouldn't worry about the fact that I'm single, because someday I'll find somebody right for me. However, I feel like I obsess about being single every single day. Every day I seem to remind myself that I'm single. I miss having a relationship, and I always do when I find myself in this situation. I've never had a normal and lengthy relationship (by normal, I mean one that was not a long distance relationship. I had one of those which lasted a couple of years before it inevitably fizzled out. Despite the horrible circumstance, I still miss that relationship very much even though it's been nearly 2 years since it ended), and I doubt that I am very good at normal relationships, as the longest one I have had lasted only 3 months.I worry that I will never find the right person for me until I learn to relax and accept that I'm single, but since my first relationship ended I just can't seem to do it. What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou say "just start dating again" as if it's as simple as that! Women seem to stick to clubs. I can't find any in places where you can actually have a conversation. Or if I do, I can't find a way to strike up conversation. It doesn't seem quite as simple as you say, but please give me more advice.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): You are quite young to be worried that you are single.
I do have some suggestions for you. First off, pick up a copy of the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray, he has another book something about How to Reset Your Heart....both would help you out a lot.
The best thing I think to do if you want a relationship is to simply start dating girls in your home town. Date several at a time, and then simply pick one that is interested in a relationship and that you like and see if you are happy being in a relationship.
You can't force yourself to be ready or force yourself to be part of a couple if it just doesn't work out. But dating is supposed to be fun...and how will you know what kind of girl you want or who you get along with best if you don't start sampling the various types of women out there. So start being social, ask for some phone numbers and get out there.
Stop sitting around worrying that you are single or you will constantly put a vibe out to everyone that you aren't very fun to be around or happy. Easier said than done sometimes, but you aren't really suffering any major heartbreak right now, you just seem afraid to try. So go for it and see what happens and remeber to have some fun!
Simple!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): single and only twenty.you should really be enjoying being single.doing things you enjoy and living life to the full.improve yourself while you are single.you become the catch in any new relationships in your future.be patient.
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