A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've been seeing a guy for almost 3 months now. he contacts me every single day and we always have so much fun together. We're in college so i live at my dorm while he lives at home. my hometown is 10hrs away and we have our christmas break coming up so he knows i'll be away. everything was completely normal up until monday when i just never heard from him and haven't since. we were messaging each other sunday and he was even saying next time he walks me home, how we have to stop at this amazing pizza place he discovered. he just seemed so happy and normal. and now he's disappeared. and whats worse, is I'm 99% sure he is talking to another girl right now that he only added on fb a few days before on friday?! i honestly know that he did not use me and truly cared about me and liked me so much. the only thing i can think of for his disappearance and now talking to another girl is the what i stated above; I'm going home and he doesn't know how long for. he's asked me a few times whether I'm gonna be here or not during summer, and at the time i still wasn't sure. i think this threw him off. after 3 months we have just gotten so close that he probably doesn't see where its gonna go, seeing as I'm leaving (even though he knows I'm back). and when he met this girl who also lives in the city, he probably saw her as a better option. thing is, he has asked me questions about next year, implying that he's still gonna be around. he only has positive memories and experiences with me and i honestly know he had feelings for me too. i am so sad right now because the last thing i want to do is lose him for good, which is why i haven't messaged him asking where he is. i just don't wanna end everything now and i would really like to keep things open for us even though he is talking to another girl. if he did come back to me now, i would only lose him again when i leave over the break. so i guess my question is; when I'm back at the end of january, if he is no longer talking to this girl, do i have any chance of getting him back? i totally understand him not wanting to get any closer with me now as I'm about to leave, but what happens when I'm back at the start of the year? it will be at least 10months until i go away again. i can't make up my mind about whether i want to message him or not about why he suddenly disappeared when it was only a week ago that he was so good to me. i feel like messaging him will end everything on the spot whereas keeping my mouth shut won't push him away further, and thus leaving things still open for next yearadvice?
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female
reader, SimpleSoul  +, writes (2 November 2014):
 Hello there,I wonder if you have already messaged him? If not I honestly think sending him a short message is the best option. It sounds as if he felt he didn't know where he stood with you, and now you feel the same, (and maybe neither of you know exactly what you really want long term either, although that does not really matter). But if you don't message him he will definitely think you don't care, and is much more likely to get deeply involved with this girl. He needs to hear that you really do care for him, and he needs to know your plans for the summer. Absence is a really good love test, and if he does care for you, why would you lose him over the break? Put it to the test, text him, and the best of luck.
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