A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need urgent help. I think im infatuated with my ex. We have fallen out badly - he left me for another woman, still led me on by sleeping with me so I told his gf and he found out and went mad, he called me a slag and I sent him a very nasty email on the spur of the moment. But now, Im so desperate to see him and I dont understand why. He's hurt me and does not respect me but Im very close to sending him an email to apologise, even though I wouldnt mean it ....it would just be an excuse to get in touch with him. Ive deleted his number and blocked his from my phone, but I just wanna see him. Sometimes I feel panic at the thought of not being able to see him. I almost went to his house today but then I thought I would look like a stalker. Whats wrong with me? I know this is infatuation but how do I stop it? When I was in a relationship with him I didnt even care for him that much, so why am I like this now?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Have you ever seen a kid ignore a toy until another boy starts playing with it? He is capable of the biggest tantrum to get that toy and if he gets it he'll play with it happily and 2 minutes later, when the sense of victory has faded, he'll leave the toy alone because he didn't want it in the first place.
See the similarity? We are all like that to one extent or another. What you are feeling is not infatuation, you are angry because the woman he left you for picked up the toy you weren't paying much attention to, and now that she has, you actually believe that it is your favourite toy and that you want to play with it badly.
Don't listen to your the voice inside you that is telling you you want that. Don't let your instincs push you to do things you don't even want. In case you got him back, the chemicals in your brain that have you exalted will wear down and you'll be like "why did I do this?"
Control yourself! Control yourself! Control yourself!
Get yourself distracted, go to the movies, read a book, exercise, dance, find a craft, play an instrument... you chose. The fixation you are going through will pass (faster than you think as soon as you convince yourself not to think about it) and you will have gotten out of this being a better and stronger person.
Be strong and keep focused.
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