A
male
age
30-35,
*ingjoe king
writes:i love this girl...we met online and started dating for over one year...i told her everything about myself on how i left my rich and balanced family to live in a tough place, because of the problem i have with my dad...she accepted me.Then one day i asked her to visit me because we are not living in the same state..she came and spent the night but before she visited, she told me she is a virgin and that she would want me to de-flower her and i agreed but when she visited i couldnt because i love her and dont want to do it right now because I am not in a hurry i told her that i will do that on our honey moon...i showed her where i live, she was happy but when she got back to her state she changed..she doesn't call again nor text..this was something she took as a hobby..if she calls is only to say hi..if ask her..she will say she loves me, but her actions towards me is something else..this is a girl i want to marry.,what do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Charter114  +, writes (25 May 2012):
I recommend doing something people would call romantic. Sometimes that spark needs a jump to keep going. Do something she doesn't expect. Something you know will make her remember those feelings from before. Girls love that stuff.As for the virginity thing, you may want to talk to her...maybe she's starting to think your messing with her? First you agreed, then you wanted to wait. In my experience, girls automatically jump to conclusions that are most often complete fabrications of either their own worst fears, or their friends imaginations.The fact that the relationship started online may also play a big role in that. Online dating doesn't have a great reputation in the past, and it's always a fear that those relationships will end badly.But if nothing else works, remember that humans are designed to be flexible, but at the same time everything happens for a reason.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 May 2012):
 what a lovely generous and genuine honorable guy. You sound just the nicest person.
And you really thought the spark between the two of you would keep on burning brightly. sometimes on-line all seems rosy. But then something (possibly something you are totally unaware of) affects one or both parties and the spark goes out.
You are spot on to notice her actions, for actions are real giveaways to emotions.
All is not lost as yet, because she still contacts you. But it is half hearted and you have noticed.
I could be wrong, but I am wondering if the strong willed girl likes to get her own
way?
She asked you to be her first and de-flower her. You, the gentleman, refused as you want to do it right. Very principled of you. Perhaps this girl does not like to be thwarted. And her waning interest is starting to siggest that maybe her standards are not your standards.
In life we must be flexible, like the trees that is tossed around by the wind, but is stable enough and adaptible and so survives, to grow tall and strong.
Whereas the heavily tied up and secured tree that cannot blow around flexibly in the wind is more likelt to be damaged in a storm.
The same goes for you. Yes, i understand why you felt you needed to break out from under the shade and control of your Dad.
But also allow your future plans to be flexible. Adaptable. Build up some good friendships. Keep an open mind, get to know girls in general as friends before you declare your love.
And when we lose someone we love then sometimes another door opens. And all is
not lost, afterall
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