A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I use to write love letters to my teacher, I did not know the boundaries of teacher students I obviously knew you can't have a relationship with a teacher but I had no idea you could get into trouble for writing love letters. Until a different teacher had told me.My question is why didn't the teacher i wrote love letters report me? They were not just a couple I would write serious love letters not about being with him but just how I felt about him and he never reported it and always accepted the letters he would always smile whenever my friends gave him my love letters.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 August 2016):
 I will bet that EVERY girl has a crush on a teacher.
I did. I'm 56. I was 17 he was only 24 at the time (not that I knew that) it was a mad crush.
I looked him up a few years back and was very sad to hear he had died of cancer.
Just so you know you are not alone...crushes on teachers are part of growing up.
boys have them too.
It's possible he reported it and they just let it lay that way as long as you just wrote letters and didn't make a pass at him, no harm no foul.
It's also possible he did nothing because they were just letters and you had your friends deliver them so he knew you were too shy to take action and as far as I know there are no thought police YET....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2016): It's sad that these generation any hint of flirtation is "harmful" or worse be considered "criminal" because of the malice and abuse that resulted from these behavior. I remember the days in middle school where all of my boy classmates are crushing on a sexy teacher by joking with her and she would just gently remind them to focus on their studies but just give them due respect for acknowledging their attention because they're young. Or in my college, the prettiest teacher would go along with the teasing occasionally but would snap at the students when they go overboard to remind them that they're going over the line and that she is still their senior. She is well-respected as a Professor for her teaching not her looks. People need to just be reminded of proper conduct and it is up to the adults to show the kids what the limits are. It's just sad that teachers are now left with rules/regulations instead of using their own judgment to show their students what is morally correct or God forbid, they disobey these regulations and end their careers for it. I'm sorry this doesnt address your question and may be off topic but just an observation. Kids these days really need to be shown what good manners and right conduct are but people are afraid to do it because they might get sued for it. I personally think maybe your teacher was looking out for your best interest by disregarding or dismissing it as a simple crush which will go away. But I dont really know much about matters about student-teacher rules and regulations other than my own personal moral boundaries.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2016): perhaps the poems were sweet and childish but badly spelled so he didnt want to hand it back with red markings all the way through them in case you mistook them for kisses!Also he figured you were looking for attention ,so rather than try to light your fire,he decided to give it no thought!Maybe he lodged them with the head teacher who told him to pay no attention to you or you would be encouraging all the others to write to him and end up with mass hysteria!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 August 2016):
 He could have reported it, but the school decided to do nothing OR he could have "archived" them directly in thrash.
Doesn't really matter when it comes down to it. You had a teacher who didn't act on your crush, who didn't take advantage and that is a good thing.
IF you think that he somehow was infatuated with you, think you are fooling yourself a bit, but I guess it's a nice little fantasy. Nothing more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): What everyone else has said ... ;)
I'll just add its normal and sweet to still think about our teenage crushes, even if it was a teacher or even a Prince ;)
Yes! We too crushed on our teacher but we never wrote letters but we took a photo ;)
Also, why do you think ABBA had the song "when I kissed the teacher" because boys & girls are in the exploratory fantasy stage of life :)
Its OK and normal as long as it is only a fantasy
Real life, wait for a single boy your own age :)
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A
female
reader, princess precious +, writes (21 August 2016):
 well depending on how young you were the teacher maybe didnt report you because he knew you were only young and didnt want to hurt your feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): The teacher may have used some personal discretion and decided not to make it an issue. That isn't wise, but don't get any notion that he kept them or the feelings were mutual. He most likely immediately destroyed them. To be caught with them would be professionally disastrous. This topic comes up frequently here on DC.
Teachers are used to schoolgirl and schoolboy crushes, and will receive them from multiple students over the years. Depending on the content and the frequency of these communications, it may require counseling for the student; because some children are disturbed and given to obsessive behavior. He probably felt flattered by your attention; but he may have also felt you were getting yourself knee-deep in trouble. He may have been extremely embarrassed as well.
Smiling is no indication he approved. Other students could have told someone. He knows these things pass, and all schools are required to have very strict policies about conduct among teaching staff. Bypassing these directives is quite risky. He may have been saving his own skin by keeping it secret and destroying them.
Some teachers just don't have the heart to take actions that could emotionally traumatize or embarrass a student. Then the worst case scenario is, he may have kept them. If he did, you don't want to know. If you take that in any positive way, you shouldn't. He shouldn't be working with young school children. You were aware your actions were totally inappropriate. You were totally pushing the envelope, and you did know better than you're admitting. You know young schoolgirls shouldn't be writing love letters to much older men. Parents wrote that rule!
Keeping them would have been very unprofessional, most inappropriate; and if discovered, may be held as evidence for dismissal or some form of punitive action. You were a minor, and all the moral and legal precautions should be taken by any adult.
And you can also take it into consideration that he did report them; and the school felt it was better to squash the matter not to stir any unwanted attention. That too, is inappropriate.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 August 2016):
 It's sweet (though very inappropriate), so he probably just saw it as a childish crush and would have reported it if you did anything else. He may have only read one or two, then just taken the ones he assumed were letters, not read them and binned them when nobody was around, to save you embarrassment. Why are you thinking about this now?
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A
female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (21 August 2016):
 He is a teacher so I'm sure he knows all about teeanage girls and their crushes. I'm sure he didn't want to embarrass you and didn't take it seriously. I'm sure you are not the first student he taught that had a crush nor the last. I guess he thought if he ignores them you would eventually stop or meet a boy your own age. But glad he ignored them and didn't embarrassed you by reporting you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): Changes are he was reporting them but since you were so young and naive they didn't want to get you into trouble. Secondary school teachers are well aware that there are chances students get overly attached. Chances are the other, different teacher that told you that you can't write letters to a teacher said that to try and stop you without embarrassing you as the teacher had reported it.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (21 August 2016):
 Maybe he did report them but ask that you not be chatted about them to save you the embarrassment. Who knows?
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