A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Me and my girlfriend have been together for four years but it's a long distance relationship. We started off as friends on the internet using a Chat site. I made lots of friends but diddnt expect anything to come of it, next we were internet dating for around a year until we decided to meet but we were friends for two years.We met and things were good but we did have sex the first time we met (Couldn't control ourselves) We met when we were in our earlire teens and we didnt have much experience with relationships so this is our first proper relationship.The problem is, I'm confused. We argued alot but then we got through it and we didnt argue for a while, lately we are arguing again but I can't be bothered for it, I feel like I'm losing intrest in the relationship but then I feel like I'm wrong and I love her with all my heart. It's so confusing!I feel like I'm losing something, Like chance to experience different things, This is my only real realtionship so my main conception of a realtionship would be this, So i don't really have much "experience" for lack of a better word. I don't remember what it feels like to be single, I'm starting to feel choked.. trapped in this realtionship.It makes me sad to think I diddnt get to be with others before I met this girl so I don't really know If i could be better with another girl or if this girl is truely the one for me..I really do love her, And I mean Love. I have gone through so much for this girl, I have changed myself allot to keep her happy and she has done the same for me. I would do anything for her and i can't picture myself without her. While saying that I still feel choked. I feel so confused, I see other girls and I think to myself that I wish I could see what it's like to be with someone else. (I would never cheat on my girl tho.)What do I do? When i think about breaking up I get scared of being alone. I don't want to be without her. I think of having a "Break" but even then I'm terrified of her going off with someone else. I'm scared I'd lose her, She would find someone better. I can't stand that thought and then I lose my mind thinking about that and I become violent.We did go on a break once and It made things worse than better. She spied on me, Looked at my Emails and all my internet accounts I use for chatting and such.I became paranoid of her being with someone else, thoughts of her sleeping wioth another person enter dmy mind, if i saw her talk to a single person online I would question it and not let it go. I would get so stressed and upset I would eventually get violent, Cause arguments with her and call her the worsed names imagineable. I would smash objects in my home until i calm down. This is still a long distance realtionship so she wernt here so theres no threat of me physically hurting her (But I'm sure I wouldnt be able to lay a finger on her)Am I in love with her? Or am i just afraid of being alone? Is there a different reason why I'm like this? I'm so confused.
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a break, long distance, the internet, trapped, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): get some urgent serious help/therapy/counselling for your anger management issues. Sadly you are not ready for any relationship if you are prone to resort to smashing things up when you are mad.
And don't kid yourself.
Being prone to react the way you do when angry/under stress means that your partner, when present, would be of serious danger of being physically harmed by you if you ever felt angry and powerless enough to react with violence
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