A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HelloSo, i have been single for around six or seven months and it does not bother me (right now), i get alot of attention from guys and go on many dates,the problem isif im not sleeping with the guy on the third/fourth date or time i see them they seem to not be interested or just dont understand and its driving me crazyi am not a virgin and lost my virginty at a very young age but i am not just going to sleep with anyone sex IS important to me and i don't want to just share my body with anyone im not religious at all. I tell guys this and they either laugh and think its riduculous or just don't understand why noti have alot of respect for my body and myself and i am fine with having a sexual relationship if we are in a serious relationshipis this weird?i dont know what to do i would eventually like to find a man but i don't want to just sleep with someone if we arent in a serious relationship Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 August 2009):
 Guys your age can be very single minded about getting sex as soon as possible. When they're not understanding, it's perhaps that they just don't want to understand. Because understanding means waiting and they just don't have the patience. Well, not many of them anyway. Same for 'ridiculous'... when you don't like something it's easy just to make it an object of ridicule.
What you are doing is certainly not ridiculous or weird. It's actually behaving in a mature and self-aware way. Most (many?) people learn as they grow older that it's actually the best way to enter into relationship, you just got there earlier than most. Good for you. When you do find the right guy (and you will) you'll be glad you went about things this way.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (24 August 2009):
 I imagine these men laugh because the situation you're presenting seems confusing, and they're not sure how to react.There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a serious relationship before sleeping with someone, but most people aren't ready for something serious after a few dates. A relationship can hardly be considered 'serious' by the third or fourth date, so there's really no reason why you shouldn't wait longer. If you really want to know where things are going, and if the person you're seeing is still interested in you, simply ask. Just don't do it too early.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (24 August 2009):
 It's not weird. You have morals and a set of standards around your body that you should be proud of. When you find the right one, he's going to wait patiently because sex isn't the main thing he'd be looking for. With personal standards, don't give in because someone else wants you to. Stick to what you beleive and you you'll end up finding the right guy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): The average guy won't want a girl who makes them wait . . . until they want a "keeper."
The guys are out there. They're not as common as the others but they really are out there. Just think of your values as a very effective method of weeding out the wrong guys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2009): The concept itself isn't weird, perhaps it's how you're getting the message across.
What are you actually saying to them?
Do your actions contradict what you're saying?
just a bit more background is needed.
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