A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i know this is kind of not in the same catagory of relationship but i don't really know what to do. I split up from my 2yr g.f about a month ago and well the thing is, when i got with her i ditched my mates which was the worst thing i could do! She was so demanding that i got sick of it and ended it, she always wanted 2 see me and not let me go no where. Now i have split up from her i have no mates left, all the people i have in my life are: My Mum, My Sister, My Nan and My Nieces! I got my sisters fiance but he is still with her alot and see him once a week if that so i wouldn't call him a "mate". I have a mate from work who's like my best mate but again he has just had a baby so i don't see him much, i tried contacting old mates but they have moved on with their lives either at Uni or just got other mates. I am so lonely at moment and i suffer from depression since i lost my dad 5 yrs ago, he was my best mate and if he was here i wouldn't worry bout being alone as i knew he would be there with me everyday and goto pub etc! Sorry if this is abit off subject but i'm desperate! Thankyou
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male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (29 January 2007):
 Hi Anon, You have all your loving family members around you so spend more time with them. If your "mates" were really your mates then they would be there to support you now in your time of need even if you ditched them when you started going out with this lady. Getting into a relationship is a risk, sometimes it pays off and sometimes it does not. Maybe you're suffering more from the break-up itself than not having your mates around? Obviously the loss of your father was a great trauma, it is for anyone and it's normal to be down. I suggest you speak to your family, tell them how you're feeling and you need some support. Be open with your emotions with them don't play the tough guy. If you still can't function normally; work, studying, eating well etc. go and see your family doctor, he'll probably refer you to a counselor who will get you through this hard patch and you'll come out stronger and grow from the experience. It's all part of life and we grow more in the hard times. Join some local sports clubs or dancing classes; what ever you're into. Be positive and confident and try not dwell too much on all your sorrows as making new friends when in this type of mood won't be too easy or much fun for the new friends... You'll soon meet people with common interests and make new friends. I hope this helps. Take care and stay in touch you have friends out here…
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2007): That's the nature of friendship in general as we get older. Most tend to fade out whether you were in a relationship or not, it's because people go off to live such different lives nowadays. Travel is easier and people go off to go completely different things, e.g. settle down, go to university or travel.
True friends will always be there for you, whether you spend years in a relationship or not. They always have a bit of time for you, even if it's its to stay in contact via email, or the odd text message now and again.
I've always preferred spending time with a girlfriend rather than be with my friends and I don't regret that, it has always been more important to me because I've always been very lucky and secure in knowing I have friends that know me well. In your case if you chose your girlfriend over your friends because you wanted to make her happy, then make sure you stand up for yourself next time. But if you chose to be with her, because it felt right at the time then don't feel like you made the wrong choice because you didn't at the time.
Is there things you can do to make new friends? Start a hobby? Go to an evening class? There are many people just like you who are lonely in the world. But if you don't make the effort to meet new people then how will you ever make new friends?
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (29 January 2007):
 This is the biggest danger when you're in a relationship. Start doing some different things and meet new people. It's not impossible, just difficult and remember in your next relationship that you should NEVER DITCH YOUR MATES!
CD
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