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When I ask him how he feels, all he can say is "I love you"!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 July 2012)
A female Canada age 30-35, *shco writes:

My boyfriend of 3 years won't tell me how he feels.

Yes he says that he loves me but when asked how he really feels about his words are "I love you", thats it.

I know it should be enough but those words just seems bleh and too simple.

Since our relationship as been on the rocks it was only last night i sent him an e-mail saying how i felt and how i didn't want to lose him, and yes i went into details about how i felt.

It feels one sided with feelings and i also feel as if he is holding back a bit. I've talked to him about it and all he says is he loves me its just that simple. When i brought up that it felt like he was holding back he changed the subject.

So i have no idea what to do here, i'm not pressuring him into telling me i told him if he needs time to tell me then when he is ready he can tell me, but i get this feeling he isn't going to do that.

So help!!! if you can

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A female reader, Ashco Canada +, writes (2 July 2012):

Ashco is verified as being by the original poster of the question

pet names like pumpkin, etc etc there was one that i haven't heard before but i cannot remember it though.

think its a little late for that advice i did give up on that i may never know. So thanks for everyone's advice

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A female reader, Ashco Canada +, writes (2 July 2012):

Ashco is verified as being by the original poster of the question

iAmHereToHelpYou, he is somewhat lovey dovey, that is not a problem for him.

Aunty BimBim i am NOT looking to change him in any way, i just hate the fact that I open about how i felt and he didn't do it cause i do not want to get hurt. And he is indeed a poet oddly enough.

Not trying to force him, i told him that if he needed time to tell me then he could tell me when he was ready.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (1 July 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntYou asked him how he felt, and he said he loved you. I don't understand why that is not enough, if you wanted somebody to spout words of prose you should have picked a poet for a boyfriend.

Many young men are uncomfortable talking about feelings, they prefer to do than say. Trying to force him to say words that are not his is not going to improve your situation. No matter how much time you give him to be ready, there is a strong chance he never will.

Stop pushing, stop trying to make him into something, or someone, he isn't. Either accept him for the person he is or put him out of his misery and find somebody more in tune with your needs.

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