A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When my husband is angry/upset (at me or otherwise) he completly shuts down. He doesn't want to talk, and he lets all of his responsibilites go by the wayside and seems to deal with it by sleeping. I try to leave him alone (as I have learned, the more I try to approach him, the more he shuts down) but I find it frustrating that just because he might have a "bad day" he doesn't do anything he said he would do (like household reponsibilities, or something he said he would take care of for me-if he's mad at me) I don't mind picking up the slack sometimes to help him out, but it's hard to be understanding when he won't give me something to understand. When I mention something to him that he was supposed to do (that's really important) he treats me like I'm a nag and doesn't do it, or gets really angry and then does it like its a huge hassle. How do I go about letting him know that he simply can't just forget about everything when he's upset? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): Solving a childish behavior with another childish behavior. That's great advice. Talk to him properly, let him know how you feel. Communicate your problems. Be understanding yet at the same time lend him some support, give him something to lean on. Maybe there is a condition with him, or there is something that is bothering him that he can't seem to share or express in words. The big key here is COMMUNICATION. Find away for him to communicate when he is angry, so that he'll learn how to slowly over come this habit of his, which is getting on your nerves. Why is it so hard for people to talk to the ones they love.
best of luck
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (15 December 2009):
This is childish behaviour. You must not tolerate it. How did he resolve problems before you were married? Did he give you the silent treatment? Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine when he is in a good mood then you shut down, don't cook dinner or clean the house. Let's see if he will like it.
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