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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello online friends...Im having a long distance relationship, and find it really really difficult when my boyfriend goes out with his friends. He has never given me any reason not to trust him, he tends to text while he's out and when he gets home. However, he's really good looking, girls love him, and he is pretty flirty - always gets chatting to people etc.We talk every day, and when I know he's going out in the evening I think about where he is, what he's doing and who he's talking to. I will fall asleep but keep waking up throughout the night to check my phone in case he has called/ texted. If he hasnt, I find an excuse to text him so i will get an answer back and at least he is thinking of me. I imagine him cheating, chatting to beautiful women, etc. Sometimes he forgets to text me when he gets home as he is drunk, and i take this like an admission of cheating and get so angry with him.Please, someebody help - I KNOW this is my problem. What can I tell myself to stop the mental torture? Why do I feel like this? When I go out with MY friends by the way, he tells me to have a great time and has no worries at all. Wish I could be like this.Thanks so much for any advice everyone.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006): I can relate to what you are going through ive been there myself.I use to get so uptight if they even mentioned they was going out let alone anything else.In the end i realised i was torturing myself over what if's and those what if's could easily catch up with you until it can come ahead and cause a arguement.Luckily for me i saw sence and began to trust my partner a lot more i thought they really do love me otherwise they wouldnt ask my permission if it was alright for them to go out,they would of just gone out anyway.As for the texts try not to stress too much over not getting them sometimes,he is only human and probally he did go out and have a few drinks and just forgot the text.Aslong he tells you that he loves you and you have a good understanding and try if you can when he goes out try to arrange a night out the same night with your friends which will help take your mind of things instead of being at home thinking what if's.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006): Well you're emotionally attached to this guy and probably need more commitment from him. This is why you are feeling insecure. I suffer with the same problem myself as I am in a long distance relationship too. Generally when men go out with their friends it's usually so they can get drunk and have a laugh. You say he doesn't text you sometimes when he is drunk, has he given you any reason in the past not to trust him, has he ever cheated on you? Long distance relationships are very hard to sustain, if your lad was local you would see him more often and wouldn't feel this angst. It's very hard I know, but to continue feeling the way you do and getting angry will probably end the relationship sooner rather than later. You have got to be strong and find ways to take your thoughts away from these negative feelings. I sympathise with you totally, the only other alternative is to find someone who lives locally.
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