A
female
age
26-29,
*atooshy
writes:Ok hi so this is my story. I’m 20 n my boyfriend is 33 he has 3 kids ages 7-12 I think. I don’t have any kids.We’re together one year six months .the people around us think that we shouldn’t be together for various reasons. When we now got together he hardly ever spoke to his ex, they only communicated when he had to drop off groceries or spoke about the kids. Now they speak 24/7 and the kids are hardly involved in their conversation. His kids don’t really respect me but I love him. I’m still in school and there was this time where our class had an outing and there was music and I danced with this guy and we kissed. I didn’t plan for it to happen nor did I tell my bf I did it as soon as it happened. I waited a month before I told him. He didn’t overreact nor did he shout nor quarrelled with me. But now he flirts n flirts n flirts with his friends n even strangers,but he says it’s being polite. I have even seen messages with him and other women where in one of them she told him she was horny n he said he was curious, he calls them luv babes n all these names he should be calling me. He hides to message people n when I’m curious about what he’s doing he says I’m paranoid. (I’m not just in love with him and don’t want to lose him or get hurt). Am I? Please help me in every single way you see help is needed and I need some advice.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (12 June 2015):
 Hi natooshy, you mentioned that the people around you think that you two shouldn't be together for various reasons.
If you were my sister at age 20 who had started dating a man with kids, three of them, and the first one he had was at the same age you are now, I would tell her to look at his actions and not his words.
You're still in school. He's messaging women....
Natooshy, what do you want? Do you want a longterm relationship where both of you are working toward the same thing? Because if that is what you want, this man is not a good bet.
Natooshy, this man is not a good bet for you if you want a happy and fulfilling life. You have your whole life ahead of you, why would you get involved with a man who can't stop flirting with other women?
If he was a devoted Dad who was looking for a committed life partner? Great. But he's a man who messages women he doesn't know calling them luv, babe and all those names which in most cases would be devoted to one woman....
You are going to get hurt. And I'm wondering why you think this rather awful man is such a great catch?
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 June 2015):
 I think you are wasting your time on this guy. He has 3 KIDS which means some REAL responsibilities, yet... he flirts with everything in a "skirt".
And while you think you love him.... you still kiss another guy. People don't kiss by accident. It's a choice.
The guy also have 3 kids. And the kids don't care for you, can you imagine being with a guy and later marrying him and having step-kids that hate your guts? It would be lonely. Plus he is carrying on "something" with his ex-wife. There is no need for them to speak 24/7.
If I were you... I'd end it and walk away. Find yourself a guy with LESS baggage and drama. Him flirting/sexting with other women should not be OK. And has NOTHING to do with being polite. Seriously.
I think you know what you need to do... you just need to do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2015): Hmm, man with 3 kids? Well, the situation is that your are a very young girl that is dating someone who already lived a little. He managed to make 3 kids and now dating someone almost half his age. I hope you do realize that heis not going to want anymore kids?That's a number one for me reason not to date someone with so much baggage. Second, he willprobablyspend all his money on kids, not you. If you are ok with that you always will be not a priority that's fine then.,The fact that he didnt really react on your confession aout kissing ( I could never understand why people are striving to always tell after the fact to their spouse, boyfriend/ girfriend) is actually very mature of him since he can't change the fact. Or he doesn't really care, that could be too. He too realizes that age difference, he may be anticipating the future without you as one day you will find a boy your age without any previous marriages, kids and other problems. He started suddenly flirting, I don't know why but honestly it's to appropriate nor the sexting, nor the secret messages to women. I think you already kind of lost him. May be your confession gave him the green light to do all this things
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