A
male
age
41-50,
*rokenMan123
writes:Hey Everybody,I'm really at a loss here so I'm needing some honest, and perhaps some brutal advice. I met my girlfriend in February of last year. We pretty much fell for each other immediately! I really, really love this girl! I truly believe she is the love of my life! We've said to each other that we have a connection like we've never felt before! However a few years ago I lost my father at Christmas and it's always a difficult time of year for me. Anyway this was my first Christmas with her, but I got really low again. I was really horrible and nasty to her. I didn't call her names or anything like that but I told her I didn't love her and I wanted nothing to do with her! I was really horrible to her! I didn't mean it and I don't know what happened to me! Anyway Christmas wasn't very nice and on New Year's Day she said she needed space. Now space to me means that's the end, but she said she wasn't ending it. She just needed to get her head together after the way I had treated her. I've told her how sorry I am and how deeply I regret the way I spoke to her. Anyway this morning she asked for a few days of no contact. No texts or phone calls. So far I haven't, but is this the end? I feel like my soul has met it's mate! I truly believe that! She now contacted me to say she wants to meet on Monday. She's told me she loves me dearly and that 90% of her wants to be with me but 10% doesn't because of how horrible I was to her. I really want to be with this girl. I want to settle down and start a family with her and I've never had those feelings about anyone I've ever been with. This is the lady I want to spend the rest of my life with and be the mother of my children. I've told her this too! But have I blown it? Has she already walked away? I really need some advice here because I don't know what to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): When you are angry or frustrated, what comes out?Whatever it is, it’s a good indication of what you’re made of.H. Jackson Brown, Jr.Franky after how I was treated by my ex I'd be inclined to think that your playing mind games with her. That's how us women think any ways after being through the wringer..If you want her back then you need to give her a sincere apology and show it in your actions.Remind her how much you love her as a person, don't just shower her with giFts, that will not do this time. Take her some were that's beautiful and special to you.No matter what she says right now you caused a deep hurt in her and your going to have to work very hard to repair that.If she takes you back and forgives you don't ever do anything like that again. EVER. No matter how sad/angry you get there is no reason to be cruel. ever.Using your father as a crutch in your life is never going to get you anywhere, he's gone yes it's sad but do you think he'd want to crying about it all your life? Instead of focusing on what is gone focus on what you have now with your family and girlfriend and cherish them both.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013): It doesn't sound like you will lose her. She clearly loves you but wants to make sure you learn your lesson from how badly you have treated her. A genuine apology, perhaps in the form of a hand written note for sincerity should bring her round. Explain what you have said here about you know she is the one for you, etc. Then what you have done with but, or anything about your dad. (Even though it is a reason, you don't want to sound like excuses for your behaviour). She needs to know you have hurt her and accept what you have done with no excuses. End by 'accepting' that if she doesn't want to speak to you again, you'll understand. Then leave it with no contact and wait for her to get in touch with you when she is ready.Don't moan about about how you are feeling because she'll take it as you being selfish and not considering her.
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