A
female
age
51-59,
*Y Jasmin
writes:Ok here goes, I was married for 17 yrs.to a physical and emotionally abusive man. Finally got the courage to dump him and 4 mos. Later began a relationship with (A). We fell deeply in love but cause of my past didn't trust him. We moved in together but I treated him the way I treated my ex thinking eventually he would treat me like my ex which of course didn't happen. I guess we all have our limits and he broke up with me, knowing I was pregnant. He was present thru pregnancy we were still sexual tried reconciling aft baby was born but I felt if he had loved me all that time why didn't he try to fix relationship while I was pregnant. So finally I see the big pic I see he is a trustworthy man good father I know he loves me but won't consider @ this time of trying again. I'm finally over the trust issue and want to raise my son with his father and the man I ADORE. So what do I do? When do I say enough and just move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): I agree that you could do with some counseling. In fact if I were in your position I would seek therapy on my own first and then invite my partner to join to try and work out the issues between us.
It seems that you jumped into a relationship very fast after getting out of a bad relationship and it is no wonder that the new relationship ended badly.
The fact that you have a child in the mix makes it all the more important that you do try and work out the issues with the child's father, especially since you say he is a good person and you believe he loves you.
I would start with apologizing to him, once only. Apologize without explaining yourself or making excuses, just admit that what you did must have hurt him terribly and that you hope he will give you another chance....especially for the sake of your child. Ask him if he is willing to go to therapy with you to see if you can work things out between the two of you so that you can be a family.
Give him some time to think about it and I think he may come around. Ask him if there is anything you can do to regain his trust.
I am sorry that you have been through hell and back, but with some work I hope you can get things back on track.
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