A
female
age
51-59,
*atmarie
writes:Hi all, I recently started dating a new man. He is nice, kind and considerate. I have just come back from holiday with him. We stayed with his family, and it was very intense as they were all scrutinising me, and I felt hugely under pressure. Anyway, to cut a long story short - we spent most of the week bickering which has never happend in London. (We were in Hungary where his family live - he is from Hungary but lives in London), and it was hugely dissapointing, as he was also trying to get attention from me by looking at other girls, and making comments about them. He had never done this in London before, plus I met him though a dating website, and he refuses to take his profile down, as he says it does not mean anything to have it there, and that I am being jealous. He has said on it that he is not looking for a relationship though - but I cannot see why he has to have it there at all. I have never seen this insecure side of him before, and also had words with him about the website a few weeks back, and still it remains there. He treats me wonderfully, but I am now upset that this has happened. My actual problem is this. On the last night of the holiday - I got very drunk on the local drink which is very very strong. I more or less blacked out and lost track of time, and the next day on the way back to london he seemed fine, until we got on the plane which was when he went very cold on me, and would not let me near him and told me he did not want to see me for two months as I had lowered myself beyond belief in front of his family, and swore at him in front of his sister and pushed him. I honestly remember none of this happening what so ever, although I do know I was very drunk. I texed him when we got back to london and apologised profusely, as I feel awful that it had happened, but i do think he may be exaggerating. I can never really know. He refused to take my calls all weekend, and eventually on the sunday evening, I texed saying that I assume the relastionship is over, and could I have my stuff back please. He then texed back saying he would bring my things asap, but would not say it was over, and I was really suffering. I had texed him all weekend, just asking him to let me know if it was finished, as at least that way I could start moving on emotionally. I asked him again if it was finished, and he said' unfortunatley yes dear.. you lowered yourself etc etc on the last night, and then we swapped about another five texts, and his were very angry and very upset which I do understand, as I had made a mistake. He said he would bring my stuff asap, and he hasn't done. I also wrote him a long email saying how sorry i was, I cannot do anymore.. I feel sick that I have made one mistake, and he has just given up on me like that in six weeks.. he also said that my jealousy about the dating webite was 'all in my head' and that I am being silly. I know for a fact that this guy loved me, as he done everything to prove that. I sent the email yesterday and he still has not responded. I will not be contacting him again, but do need some sort of closure, and he is just not giving that to me whatsoever. He will not even see me at the moment to talk about it then finish. The only thing I can do now is nothing, but I have done all I can to fix this. I do not know when i should start moving on, as he is not really letting me by refusing to bring my stuff, and igonring all my messages and emails. When Should I give up on this guy and move on? what so you think is going on? please advise.. I know he is still very angry and upset with me , but how long is he going to keep this up? I need closure or at least something.
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female
reader, Logicgirl  +, writes (11 July 2010):
 You sure made a big mistake. And why are you apoligizing for? He is the one who kept on using his profile and he is the one who got arrogant. I am not saying this to cricitize you but have you heard of self respect? With those messages with apoligies, he looks down on you and thinks that you are a lovestruck woman. Right now he teases you and maks fun of you, you know. I know that you want your stuff back but dont ask for them anymore. Leave them as a charity to him. I think he needs them. Dont call him anymore if you dont want to be looked down at and forget about him and wait for the right man. Good luck!
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